I Wear My Heart on My Sleeve

Almost done...

2012-02-07T08:58:00.003-05:00

I'm currently finishing up my last two classes of my bachelor of science!! Just a few more weeks and I will finally be graduated!! I'm so excited. I'm really enjoying my Advanced Theory and Treatment of Substance Abuse. Definitely an area of my degree I'm interested in. The other class I'm taking is a christian counseling class about healthy sexuality. Strange, but interesting.
The girls are getting so big. Ava is going to be 5 in a few months! Ah! I have an informational meeting on kindergarten next month to attend for her. That is really weird. I can't believe she's starting school in the fall.
And Z! She just turned two! She's now in a big girl bed, and I'm working on potty training her! It's all just going by so fast! /sigh I miss the days of little chubby butterballs laying on the floor waving their little fat hands at me and smiling. But they've grown up so much. They're such gorgeous little girls.
As for me, I'm still working part time at Bath Fitter where Keith works. I like it, it keeps me sane having some adult interaction a few times a week. Who knows, maybe after Ava is in school we will look into me working full time somewhere I can use my degree. It would break my heart to put Z in daycare though...
Anyway, I'm enjoying my life here in Pennsylvania. I love it up here.
We are looking into buying a house this year! First time home buyers! Woohoo! Praying God will send us the right place!
Well that's all for now. Ta Ta.

Lost in Siena...

2011-12-28T23:40:00.001-05:00

So I just finished reading my latest favorite, Juliet by Anne Fortier. It is a lovely piece of fiction with the original history of Romeo and Juliet woven in with it. With the main character, Julie Jacobs, we are taken back in time as she discovers ancient documents and journals and uncovers the true story of Guilietta and Romeo before Shakespeare made his mark on it. It is wonderful to be transported to modern day and medieval day Siena Italy and to learn the history of the cultures there and all the family feuds that existed.
I absolutely loved the parallel demensions of the romance between Guilietta Tolomei and Romeo Marescotti both past and present. It was such a lovely dynamic. I loved delving into the Shakespeare version and then seeing the "history" about the real story. Im not sure what all is fact and what all is fiction, I know that she included some histories in her book, but I thought it was a wonderful combination of both. I loved the incorporation of the Shakespeare play, but enjoyed more the take on the history that it was 'based on.' For example, it is Friar Lorenzo who calls down 'a plague o both your houses,' as there was no Mercutio in the 'history.' And the two feuding houses are Tolomei and Salimbeni, but Romeo was from the house of Marescotti.
I very much enjoyed the incorporation of their religion and including the Virgin Mary and the mystical elements of her power. That was an interesting part. Also the archeological parts like the finding of the grave of Guilietta and Romeo and the statue.
All in all, I thought it was one of the best boooks I've read in a long time.

Books.

2011-11-04T21:50:00.000-04:00

Read some good books lately. Two books by Nancy Pickard: The Scent of Rain and Lightning, and The Virgin of Small Plains. They were both very good. I like her writing. I also recently read Columbine by Dave Cullen. I'm not sure why, but the tragedy at Columbine High School really struck me deep. I was in 9th grade when it happened. Something about that really hit me hard and it's stayed with me for some time since then. The book Columbine was very informative as well as moving. So many of the things we heard about in the news were not true and of the basic facts, I just had no idea. This book explains everything that really happened now that all the reports and evidence has been released. I enjoyed it very much and it's made me think about a possible future in criminal psychology. It was really interesting to me to read about the different personalities of Eric and Dylan and to know some of the reasons of why they did what they did.

Rain rain go away...

2011-09-15T14:11:00.003-04:00

I've been re-reading the Sookie Stackhouse series this week. Just finished Dead Reckoning, book 11. Looking forward to Deadlocked, book 12 which will hopefully be out in the spring?!
I decided I have way too many books on my ereader that I haven't read and I think it's time to start at the beginning and read through all of them one at a time. Re-reading some, and reading others for the first time. I'll report back of course. And there will be a few new books coming out over the next few months that I plan to devour just as soon as Keith gives me the okay to download them to my Nook. :)
Reading is definitely the best thing ever. There's no better way to use your imagination. I love to read books and then see movies they make them into and see how they compare with what I imagined. It's a great thing.

"I got this."

2011-09-14T23:22:00.000-04:00

I'm spread pretty thin these days. I've got a job at Bathfitter now. It's part time, a few evenings a week, and it was temporary, but now it's permanent. Which I'm glad of. We could use the extra money. I have my internship, 18 hours a week. I have all my schoolwork, two classes this term. I have to come home and be Mommy to my two little girls. I have to be wife to my husband, Keith. I have to try and keep house as much as possible. It's a lot going on for me right now.
Tonight though, I spoke to my Creator for the first time in awhile. And I'm feeling that supernatural peace settle over me. No matter how long I've been wandering, He always welcomes me back with open arms. No matter how much I worry, or how much I have going on, I can always lay it at His feet and He'll just smile and say, "Don't worry Lins. I got this." It's so comforting to know that He's there. That He loves me, no matter what. That He knows my deepest, darkest shame, feelings, thoughts, and desires, and still wans me in His arms. Oh all He's done for me, it's just too much to take in sometimes. And what little I do for Him absolutely fills me with shame and regret. But He tells me to stop that. He says His mercies are new every morning. He says He's removed my sins as far as the east is from the west. He says, Linsey, open your eyes, look to me, I am all you need.
Oh how it fills me with pure joy when He says these things to me!
I'm so unworthy.

Game of Thrones

2011-07-25T14:52:00.000-04:00

So, we made the move from Hershey to Franklintown! We found a great place here and it's super great. So we are in the slow post move unpacking phase. It's coming along. Going slower than usual because I got a part time job at Bathfitter, where Keith works, and I'm working about12-14 hours a week. It's tough being away from the girls for the first time, but we needed the extra income and it's also nice to get out of the house and have adult conversations. Mom is staying with the girls during the times when Keith and I work the same hours. So it's all new.

As to the subject of my post, I've gotten into the Game of Thrones series by George R. R. Martin. I'm currently reading the most recently released novel, A Dance with Dragons. I really like the series. It's different from anything I've read or normally read, so it's always nice to read new material with new stories and characters to get attached to. I think my favorite character is Tyrion Lannister. He's a dwarf and the youngest of the Lannister family. I think he's probably the most level headed of all the characters. Anyway, the other books are Game of Thrones, Clash of Kings, Storm of Swords, and Feast for Crows. There are also two more that are still to come. Good author, good books. Read them.

Ava and Zoie are getting rediculously big. Ava will hopefully be starting preschool in the fall. Assuming we can find an affordable one. Zoie will be 2 in December, which is mind boggling. I feel like she was still just an immobile baby a few days ago. Now she's walking, climbing, and getting into anything she can get her hands on. Ah!

"So tell me, what don't you like about yourself?"

2011-03-28T18:06:00.001-04:00

Keith and I have started watching Nip/Tuck on Netflix. That is where the quote above is from. They ask that during their consultation with a prospective patient. There are some really graphic scenes of the surgeries they do. I usually have to look away. It is amazing to me what people will do to try to avoid aging. And it's not just older ladies going in for shots of botox and face lifts now. It's young girls who are trying to look even younger. You can get nose jobs, boob jobs, tummy tucks, butts, lips, ears, you name it and they can change it. We as a society are so disgustingly superficial. So concerned we are with wrinkles and belly fat and big noses. We are so concerned with how we look that we are willing to risk death in a dangerous surgery to look the way we think we should. It makes me so sad. Why are women so afraid of getting older? We dye our hair, we use skin creams to reduce wrinkles, we get chemical peels and facials. I don't understand it. With age comes wisdom. Is it that we are afraid of dying? Are there some women who are just afraid of being alone? Are we trying to hold on to a time when we thought our lives were better? I guess there could be a million reasons. I'm going to be 27 this year. Just three years short of 30. I know, right. Who am I to talk about aging? I may well get just as scared as I continue to get older. But I don't want to be the kind of woman who is scared of getting older. I want to be the kind of woman who sees it as a blessing. To be able to gain so much knowledge and experience and to be able to pass that on to my children and to their children. To see my daughters grow up and learn things and gain interests and go to college is a blessing. To be able to be there for them in every situation is precious. To see them grow as women in God is something that will be indescribable. Thank you Jesus for giving us life to live. Thank you God for letting us live it for as long as we will. And help us to remember, Lord, that we need to spend our lives focused on you and our families and living rather than trying to look younger and trying to avoid getting older.

My girls.

2010-11-10T15:45:00.000-05:00

I love my little girls. They are so precious to me. Ava is almost 4 and she is so independent, so smart, and so cute. I think she is probably the most social little girl I've ever met. She is still firmly in her "terrible threes". Though her bad tantrums are getting to be less often, they are also getting to be more intense. But, she's starting to learn to listen better and I think it won't be long before she is out of that stage. My little Zoie is going to be 1 year old in December. I can't believe that. She is so sweet. I think she is quite the opposite of Ava. Very dependent on me and on Keith and very cautious and quiet. Playing with Ava is bringing her out of her shell and she is jibbering a lot now. She loves her sister so much. You can see that.
I like to complain sometimes about how hard it is, being a mother. But it's also the most wonderful thing ever. I love it that I'm "Mommy" and that I'm the one they run to when they've been hurt or they're scared or need something. It's amazing to see them grow and learn and begin to understand things. Zoie is starting to wave. Ava is writing her letters really well for a 3 year old. I'm trying to teach her to write her name and she's doing good with that too. Good thing it is only three letters!
I wish we lived closer to our family though. I want them to be close to their cousins. I'm praying for that to happen. :)

Inspired.

2010-11-02T16:15:00.000-04:00

So, Keith and I bought the new Eminem cd. We love him. I know it's weird. And he is a little vulgar sometimes. But we fell in love with the new cd. My favorite is the "Love the Way You Lie" song with Rihanna. I suppose it is a little controversial. I'm going to quote the lyrics here. Just ignore the f bombs and really read the lyrics.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn that's alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I can't tell you what it really is I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe
I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight
High off her love drunk from her hate
It's like I'm huffin paint and I love her the more I suffer, I suffocate
and right before I'm about to drown she resuscitates
me, she f*in hates me and I love it- "wait
where you goin" "I'm leaving you" "no you ain't
come back" we're running right back here we go again
it's so insane, cause when it's goin good it's goin great
I'm superman with the wind at his back, she's Lois Lane
but when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed I snapped
who's that dude I don't even know his name I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again I guess I don't know my own strength
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn that's alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe when you're with 'em
you meet and neither one of you even know what hit 'em
got that warm fuzzy feelin yeah them chills used to get 'em
now you're gettin f*in sick of lookin at 'em
you'd swore you'd never hit 'em never do nothin to hurt 'em
now you're in each other's face spewin venom in your words when you spit em
you push pull each other's hair scratch claw bit 'em throw 'em down pin 'em
so lost in them moments when you're in 'em
it's the rage that took over it controls you both
so they say you're best to go your separate ways
guess that they don't know ya cause today that was yesterday
yesterday is over it's a different day sound like broken records playin over
but you promised her next time you'll show restraint
you don't get another chance, life is no Nintendo game
but you lied again now you get to watch her leave out the window guess that's why they call it window pane
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn that's alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Now I know we said things did things that we didn't mean
then we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
but your temper's just as bad as mine is, you're the same as me
when it comes to love you're just as blinded baby please
come back, it wasn't you, baby it was me
maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
all I know is I love you too much to walk away though
come inside pick up your bags off the sidewalk
don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk
told you this is my fault look me in the eyeball
next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fist at the drywall
next time, there won't be no next time I apologize even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games I just want her back
I know I'm a liar if she evef tries to f*in leave again
I'ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire
I'm just gonna
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn that's alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is finishing my bachelor's in psychology and then using it to counsel women in crisis (abused, abortions, miscarriages, rapes, etc.). When I heard this song, it totally inspired me. Not just to do the counseling thing, but to take a deeper look into those love/hate relationships that we see from time to time. You know the ones I mean. Maybe they don't always hit each other, but they're constantly fighting, breaking up, getting back together, screaming at each other, jealous, etc. Don't you ever wonder how they get that way? After hearing this song, I did. I wonder how a man and a woman can go from that crazy in love to having knock down drag out fights and hitting each other and screaming and yelling. We always wonder, why don't they just break up and end things between them for good? It's just something that I wonder if anyone looks very deeply into the relationship. I think there is love there. Deep love and a passion for the other person. Maybe a passion that burns far too hot and leads them to do desperate things if they think the other will leave them, but passion none the less. I'm not condoning violence. Really. Hitting each other is NOT the way to go. But I just wonder if any of us has that kind of passion for something or someone. I think in most cases, probably not.

My day...

2010-09-01T21:23:00.000-04:00

I yelled at God today. Went on for a good ten minutes ranting and raving. After hearing myself complain about so much, I felt like such a whiny baby. I called myself that too. What is wrong with me? I am so incredibly blessed. I have such a wonderful husband who loves me and who loves God. We have two beautiful daughters who are growing and are healthy. We have a roof over our heads, a nice car, food, clothing, and a few spoils we don't particularly need, but want. And most of all, I have a wonderful, caring, loving God who provides for us and loves me and wants me to be close to Him. And all I can do is complain. I could feel Him shaking his head saying, Linsey, open your eyes. All you need is Me. Stop thinking about what others have, what you think you need to have, and stop putting your focus on things that are not important. Put your eyes on Me. I'll give you what you need. I'll be here for you through everything. All you have to do, is come to Me.
I really needed to hear that from Him.

Motherhood

2010-06-29T23:19:00.000-04:00

I've always wanted to be a mother. One day in September 2006 I found out I would be. I had my little Ava Rowan on May 29th 2007 and my sweet Zoie Jayn on December 31st, 2009. These two girls have changed my life more than anything. They are everything to me. I would do anything for them.

I'm not sure what kind of expectations I had, but I didn't expect it to be so hard. Nobody tells you that. Nobody really talks about how hard being a mother is. I mean, it's the most wonderful adventure I've ever experienced. It's amazing being here with those girls every day and watching them grow and learn and develop. And my heart just melts when I see them smile at me. But the things a mother goes through, well, it's difficult. And there just aren't enough women talking about it I don't think.

Ava was a great baby. I had her sleeping in her crib through the night when she was two months old. But she started with the temper tantrums when she was 1 and a half. And they've only gotten worse. It's so draining.
Zoie, wow. I haven't gotten very much sleep since she was born. Sweet as sugar. And so cuddly. But the girl wants to be held by mommy all the time. And she still wakes up two or three times a night for bottles or for her nookie. I've got her sleeping in our room in her packnplay so she doesn't wake Ava. It's killing me. I'm so tired all the time!
I know things will get better. Just right now they're hard. And I wanted to vent about it.

Being a mom is the hardest work I've ever done. And my saying this shouldn't be taboo. Mothers should really be able to talk about things like this without being made to feel bad about it. I love my girls. Very much. But I just needed to vent about this stuff. And I wanted to set the example for other moms to say it's alright to do that.

Abortion.

2010-04-22T01:09:00.001-04:00

I've always been fully against abortion. I'm a follower of Christ. I believe that life begins at conception, and that any form of abortion is murder, no matter the circumstances. I'm not trying to be insensitive or anything. But there are options. Adoption, for one. There are so many people in this country who are infertile and want babies.
I would love nothing more than to have the practice of abortion abolished. Lately, especially during elections for president and others, I've pushed the issue aside for the most part. While I completely disagree with it, I don't believe we'll ever be able to see it abolished. I mean, W was a Christian and was in the white house for 8 years, and nothing was done about it. I don't really believe it will ever be able to be abolished as much as it pains me. One of the reasons I voted for Obama, was because while he said he supported Roe v Wade, he wanted to reduce the need of abortions. Put more options for adoption/birth control/pregnancy crisis centers etc. out there. I think that's a good idea. It irks me that some Christians are so against having birth control available in our high schools. Especially since teen pregnancy statistics are up so high now. Anyway, I've gone off topic.
I just re-read a favorite book of mine, The Atonement Child, by Francine Rivers (which by the way, is an excellent book) and read through a small chapter that I hadn't read before. It's a group of 5 elderly ladies discussing abortion. And something that was said caught my attention. So I decided to do a little research to see if it was true, or if it was just part of the fictional book. It is true. I was appalled to learn that there are studies showing that abortions increase the risk for breast cancer. And that there is a cover up going on to suppress the whole thing. Clearly, or more people would know about it. People researching it had to find private resources for funding because the government would not fund the research. It sickens me though. There hasn't been a word about this research in the news, even though there are 8 medical groups that recognize the link between breast cancer and abortion. It's insane! And then, I find out that it is actually legal for the abortion clinic's nurses and doctors to withhold information about the actual procedures of the abortion, even when a patient asks! Can you believe that craziness? I suppose it makes sense. They're trying to protect their billion dollar business. "The less the woman knows about what is being done to her, or what the baby looks like as it develops, the more likely she is to buy an abortion. When you're told that the fetus is nothing but tissue, a quick fix to a long term problem seems appropriate."
I'm so sad for the millions of women who have had abortions. There are so many risks. So many aftereffects. Not just the breast cancer, but infections, emotional trauma, miscarriages. I've had a miscarriage. I know how devastating it is. I know a lot of women who have had miscarriages and how devastating they have been. I can't imagine choosing that. I can't imagine doing that on purpose. Ending the life of your child. Oh how it hurts me to think about it! It brings tears to my eyes thinking about that precious little one that Jesus took home. I can't imagine how much pain a woman is in after an abortion. The long term effects of that choice must haunt them forever.
This is definitely something I am considering going into at some point after I finish my bachelor's in Psychology. Counseling women who've had abortions, who've been raped, who've had miscarriages.
God knows women who've been in any of these situations need someone to listen to their pain without judgment. I can do that. I hope I haven't sounded judgmental in this post. It wasn't my intention. Just expressing my thoughts and opinions on such a serious issue. Think about it.

Jennifer Knapp

2010-04-15T18:08:00.000-04:00

So, I was messing around online yesterday and found an article in a Christian magazine about Jennfier Knapp. She's been one of my favorite artists for a long time. Still is, of course. I absolutely love her music. Well the article was about her leaving the music industry for 7 years and now coming back with a new album. Really exciting. So i keep reading and find out that one of the reasons she left was because she is in a same sex relationship and she was "feeling pressure to choose between her relationship and her faith."
A surprising turn of events. So I'm still trying to reconcile this in my mind as I scroll down and read the comments section. Which, by the way, was at almost 300 comments in 24 hours. I felt utterly disgusted. But I'm not sure at which "side" because there were clearly two sides in the comments. There were the people who declared love and full support to Jennifer for being so brave and honest and that we need more Christians to come out of the closet. And there were the people who condemned her and claimed she couldn't be a Christian and be gay. They also, I might add, condemned Christianity Today for even daring to publish an article like this.
So now, I'm full on angry. First of all, for people claiming that she is not now nor ever was a Christian because of her same sex relationship. Second of all, for acting like it's heresy to even talk about this.
I'm full of things I want to yell at these people. But I decided instead of commenting back, I'll just discuss it here in my blog.
It makes me sad. It appears that Christians are so hateful towards homosexuals, that Christians who may struggle with that particular issue, are afraid to admit to it, and therefore decide to hide it. It's probably natural that you give into something that you struggle with alone for so long and without support from fellow believers. It irritates me to no end that people elevate homosexuality as the sin of all sins. Apparently, you can commit adultery, lie, cheat, steal, murder, even and still be able to be a Christian and come to church and be forgiven by the body. But if you are gay, wow! All of a sudden you are being boycotted. I know Christians who boycott Target or other stores and organizations because they give money to glaad. And there were several people who commented on this article claiming never to buy a single cd of Jennifer's again, and to destroy the ones they have. It's really rediculous to me. I mean, do you check in on the lifestyle of your butcher? Or drycleaner? No, I didn't think so. We are all sinners. We all have a struggle with something. To boycott someone or something because they are a gay, or contribute to gay people, is kind of a strange thing to do, because in order to hold up that argument, you will need to boycott everyone who sins. Which means....everyone on the planet. Have fun living in the jungle by yourself. Oh wait, you're a sinner too, so you have to boycott yourself too, right?
Sigh....
Now, don't misinterpret me, I'm not condoning any lifestyle choices. I'm just saying, that we're not called to judge anyone. And condemning people for their sins is not our job. We're called to love, as Christ loves. If we treat people like this, with hate and condemnation, we are driving them away.
I've also come to the conclusion that equal rights in this country is extremely important. Which is why I've decided I think that gay marriages should be legal. I don't necessarily believe that they're right. But we live in a country that is supposed to be free. Everyone should have the same rights. I hate to break it to everyone, but this is not a Christian nation. It may have been meant to be, but it's not now. It's funny, because our ancestors, the founders of this country, came here to escape persecutions and to be free. But they got here and persecuted others for not believing as they do. We're refusing someone their rights because it's contrary to what we want and believe, and yet we're all freaked out that we're going to lose all of our rights with Obama and this whole healthcare issue. It's kind of hypocritical...
Just some things to think about.

New Start...

2010-04-11T23:13:00.000-04:00

So I decided to revamp my blog a bit. Change the look, the format, etc. I want to start writing again. I used to write so much, as evidence by my impressive archives. I've just let life get me so busy that I don't make time for it anymore. Well, now I intend to make time. So here's a new start to my blog.

Our New Years' Eve Joy

2010-01-12T12:12:00.000-05:00

Zoie Jayn Langley made her arrival on December 31st, 2009 at 8:14 in the morning! She was 8 lbs, 1 oz. And gorgeous of course.

Overdue update...

2009-11-07T10:58:00.001-05:00

I know it's been awhile since I updated! We've been busy busy busy around here! Keith is busy with his job and doing great! Ava is so grown up and talking so much it's crazy. I'm still trying to potty train her, and it's going very slowly.
Zoie is getting gigantic in my belly and is very active. We're meeting with the doctor on monday to decide and discuss if I'm going to go with a c-section this time around. They've offered me one since I had complications during Ava's delivery. But the pregnancy has been alright. Very different from Ava.
We are LOVING it up here in E-town PA. It's starting to get cold and it's so beautiful with the leaves changing and all. We love the church we're going to, LCBC. We're involved with a Lifegroup from there that we like a lot too. We're living in a big house with Mom and Dad right now and it's actually going really well. We'll probably stay here with them until next spring or summer and then find our own place somewhere a little closer to Keith's work. Right now it's about a 30 minute drive for him. But it'll be nice to stay here when Zoie comes so we'll have extra support during that beginning time.
That's about all that is going on with us...sorry I don't update more. I stick pretty much to facebook for pictures and updates...mostly because EVERYONE we know is on there! I'll try to do better on here though. :)

My Heart...

2009-08-25T11:49:00.001-04:00

I've fallen in love with this song by Paramore and it completely represents the way I feel about God. Listen to it if you get a chance....

My Heart

Paramore

I am finding out that maybe I was wrong

That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone

Stay with me, this is what I need, please?

Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you

We could sing alone but what would it be without you?

I am nothing now and it's been so long

Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope

This time I will be listening.

Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you

We could sing alone but what would it be without you?

This heart, it beats, beats for only you

My heart is yours

This heart, it beats, beats for only you

My heart is yours(My heart, it beats for you)

This heart, it beats, beats for only you

(It beats, beats for only you)

My heart is yours (My heart is yours)

This heart, it beats, beats for only you

(Please don't go now, please don't fade away)

My heart, my heart is yours

(Please don't go now, please don't fade away)

My heart is yours (Please don't go now, please don't fade away)

My heart is yours(Please don't go, please don't fade away)

(Please don't go now, please don't fade away) My heart is...

A New Chapter...

2009-06-12T16:26:00.001-04:00

I'm super excited about the next chapter in our lives. Keith and I have decided to move up to Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania at the end of June! My parents are up there, which will be wonderful to have them be so close, and it's in the north so we'll get the hell away from this awful Florida heat. Ava is going to love playing in the snow in the winter. And I'm due to have this next little baby in January. It's so exciting! Keith has applied for a job with Apple up there and they're checking his references, so we're hoping that it works out. He'd be really happy with that.

So that's all! Just excited about the road ahead!

Through the darkness....He's there.

2009-05-21T02:20:00.000-04:00

I've been through a lot the last few months. My family has been through a lot.

I miscarried on January 4. Something that I never thought I would have to go through. It has been the hardest thing I have ever experienced.

I feel like I've come out of the darkness finally. I still get sad when I think about it, of course, but I am completely thankful beyond words for my Ava. She is so wonderful and I am so blessed to have her.

Now, we've found out I'm pregnant again! As excited as I am, I am also terrified of losing another baby. I'm praying every night for a healthy pregnancy...but I am also praying that God gives me strength to endure if it does happen again. I know that God gives and He takes away. Don't know the reasons, but He has a perfect plan and He knows things I do not. So, I submit myself everyday to His perfect will.

I've also learned a lot reading A Godward Life by John Piper. I read a chapter about marriage and it totally changed my perspective. I have never seen myself ever getting a divorce...but in the back of my mind I've always thought, well if I get cheated on, or something like that, I would leave in a heartbeat. Well this chapter was talking about how marriage should not be based on emotional tranquility. Now I'm not saying that I'm perfect now or anything, but I've decided that no matter what, I'm going to work 100% to keep my marriage intact. Even if my husband were to make a mistake like that. We're all sinners. We all make mistakes. But, there shouldn't be an escape plan in a marriage. So I decided that no matter what, I'm going to work hard to keep my marriage.

Anyway...that's all..just wanted to say those things.

25 years...

2009-04-22T10:01:00.000-04:00

I'll be 25 on Friday! How strange. I'm halfway to 50. Well I have more than I ever thought I would by this age! I have an amazing husband, who I love deeply; a gorgeous daughter, who is the apple of my eye; and a college degree! I'm a very lucky girl.
Keith and I will have been married 3 years in August. I love him so much. He is truly ten times better than any expectations I ever had.
Ava is turning 2 next month! It has been so incredible to watch her grow and learn. She's a smart girl. I am so blessed to have her. I realized that more completely than I ever thought possible in January. I miscarried. That was pretty much the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I'm not sure I will ever be completely over it. But it's showed me how completely grateful I am to have my Ava. She is so precious to me. It also showed me how much I must depend on God in ever aspect of my life. Without Him, I would have slipped away into some depression that would have drowned me. But I clung to Him in that darkness and He kept me above the water. He showed me how I had to get through it for Ava and Keith. They need me.

I'm doing a lot better now. Ava and I play a lot and we have so much fun. I'm really grateful to be able to stay at home with her. It's very important to me.
I've rediscovered my love for reading. I read all the time now. Even if it's re-reading books I've read already. But I like using my imagination and getting lost in a beautiful story.
Ava loves to read too. We read together a lot. I've bought a lot of my favorite books for her to read when she gets older.

Anyhow....
Nothing much else going on here! Keith is taking me out on Friday. Ava is going to spend the night with "Aunt" Deb and "Uncle" Brent and the girls. She loves those girls! So we'll get to have a night out with no worries! I'm excited. OUTBACK!!!
So that's all for now.

Au Revoir

Blurbs...

2008-12-03T00:51:00.000-05:00

I feel the need to vent about friendships tonight. I don't know why...this has been stewing inside me for awhile now. We live in this teensy little town. A college town. So people come and go pretty often. It's difficult to make friends here. My friends that I hold dear to me have been gone for some time now. It's easy to keep in touch through facebook, myspace, etc. But it's just not the same as having them near me. To have them close enough to meet for lunch or something. To know what's going on in their lives and to be able to be there for them when something is hurting them or just when they need a friend. My friendships mean so much to me and I somehow feel that they are slipping away from me because of distance. This hurts me. I literally ache because I want to be near my friends. I never realized before, but I feel like I literally give away a small piece of my heart when I make a very good friend. I know that I need to put forth a greater effort here to make new friends. It's just so hard. Opening yourself up to someone new when it's possible they could move away at any time soon, or they could hurt you. Yes, I've experienced that awful pain too. The pain of losing a friend. I experienced that several years ago in fact. I moved past it and all, but I closed myself up a lot since then. I don't know if it is the same for everyone. But for me, losing this friend, was excruciating. I don't think I've ever been that close to someone, other than my husband.
It's interesting, because I was just thinking the other night, that something about me has changed over the last several years. I was thinking, I am different, and I couldn't put my finger on why or how. Perhaps that was it. Perhaps that pain changed me. Turned me into a different person. I used to be very outgoing, very chatty and cheerful all the time. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy now. I love my life and my family. But I'm a lot more introverted now. And I'm wondering if that isn't the reason I'm like this now. Interesting theory I suppose.
I think I'd like to say a few things to those friends who I consider dear to me. I don't know why...I just feel inspired to do so.
Keith-My husband, my love, my BEST friend! I love you so much. I love that we are best friends. I love that all I have to do is say your name and you are at my side in no time ready to be there for me for anything that I need. You are what keeps my heart beating.
Mom-I'm so thrilled that our friendship has blossomed so much. I love that I can call you for anything. I love you!
Stephanie-I miss you so terribly. You are so dear to me and I wish so much that I could see you more often! I treasure all of our memories! "I love you like a fat kid loves cake." :)
Heidi-Oh how much we've been through together! I think of you so much and I wish I could be there to help you through everything. I hope you know how precious our friendship is to me.
Amy-Dearest friend. I have known you since we were silly girls in middle school! I am so happy to have retained such a tender friendship with you for so long. I adore you, your mind, and most of all, your happiness!
Kelly-I miss you a lot, my devoted friend. I've always loved how natural our friendship came. I never have to pretend with you, and I love that. Thank you.
Kelli-My bosom friend. I can't say much except that I love you and miss you!
Cassie-Seeing you the other night, it was like nothing had changed! I love you so dearly and smile when I think about all the great times we've had! I love that we both married video-game husbands! :)

Here's to my friends. I love you all. I miss you all. I hope you know I think of you often.

Twilight Madness...

2008-11-17T18:32:00.000-05:00

So I finally gave in and read the twilight saga that everyone has been going so crazy over! Of course, I became obssessed. Now I'm meticulously planning to see the movie, watching every trailor, clip and looking at every possible photo online. They are such wonderful books and I'm excited to see the movie to see the first one in all of its cinematic glory.
I've rediscovered my love for reading and I desperately want to go buy a bunch of new books online to read... It sucks not having money! :)
Anyway, my darling little Ava keeps me occupied enough. She's so big now. I can't believe just how smart she is and how incredibly amazing she is. She's so beautiful. And such a big girl. I'm proud to announce that she is no longer in need of bottles! YAY!
Keith is just as wonderful as ever... I like to look at him sometimes and just tell him, "you're mine." It's a wonderful thing to know.
I'm so happy with my family.
I am so ready to move though. I love our life, but every couple of years I always get the urge to move. I'm sure that comes from years of practice, moving all the time :). And anyway we're ready to be done with school and move on. Next year! It seems far away.. but only a year.
I suppose that's all for right now. I didn't have much to say, just wanted to update.
Oh, I am very happy the election is over too! And pleased with the results as well.
We're flying out to Pennsylvania on Friday to spend a week with my parents! YAY.

Election, 2008: My thoughts

2008-09-27T19:04:00.000-04:00

So I've been keeping up with the election this year. I was at first supporting Senator Obama, and then Sarah Palin joined the mix. I really like her. So I'm back to undecided. I watched the presidential debate last night. While I'm still undecided, based on last night, I'm leaning toward Senator Obama. One reason is, and I picked this up within the first half-hour, McCain would not look at Obama. Even when Obama directly talked to him, Mcain just looked straight ahead, or down and just kind of sniggered at his comments. That's just so childish to me. Grow up John McCain.
So, in trying to decide who I intend to vote for, I've been thinking about issues that are important to me and how I feel about them. For instance, I believe abortion is wrong. I do not condone the killing of innocent babies. However, there has been an avid anti-abortion president in the White House for 8 years, and nothing has been done to change it.
I believe that homosexuality is a sin. However, so is adultery, murder, and idolatry. I don't like that Christians take homosexuality and treat it like the unforgiveable sin. It's a sin. There aren't levels. Everyone has told a lie, or stolen something; some people may have made mistakes in their lives...that doesn't mean that they're any different from you. It bothers me that they aren't allowed to have the same rights as any other. That's why I support civil unions.

Anyway, these are just some things that I have been thinking about. More to come after the next debates. :)

Friendship...

2008-04-06T23:03:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking a lot about friendship lately. It's an important thing. Especially to me. Friendships are important to me. I care a lot about my friends. It hurts me when I lose one, or when I even lose touch with one. That seems to be happening to me more and more.
My heart breaks when I lose a friend.
I am happy to have such a deep friendship with my mother though. I never thought about it before I left home. But since then, I've come to realize what a dear friend she has become for me.
And my husband. I cherish every word, every glance, every touch. He is the most incredible friend I have ever had. I love how well he knows me and how he can tell me the truth and how he can show me things I never thought to see. He is truly my soul mate. The love of my life.
And to those of you who I am still close to, who still care about me, who cherish my friendship, I appreciate you more than words can say. Thank you.

My late night journey...

2008-04-02T01:04:00.000-04:00

I woke up tonight at 11 with my head pounding. I took some medicine, and was about to go back to sleep, when I felt God tugging at my heart. I wrote an entry in August saying that my faith was stagnate. And while it has improved a little since then, it hasn't gotten to the level of closeness that I desire with God. Of course, I doubt it ever will, I feel I will always desire more and more of Him, but I don't feel like I am where I should be in terms of spiritual growth. Tonight is the first time in a very long time that I felt that stirring in my heart to want to be near Him and talk to Him and write what I feel about Him. Tonight I know He is real. I know that He is always with me and loves me in spite of myself. It's a wonderful thing to feel His arms around me. And to see them around my husband and daughter. I heard this song when I was a teenager. I don't know the name of it or who sings it, but I remember some of the lyrics. It's funny how they just came to me. But I can't describe how I'm feeling any other way.

"You've searched me, you know me. You've seen my every move. There's nothing I could ever do to hide myself from you.... You will always love me, even though you know."

I know these things now:
My God is more real to me than ever.
He loves me in spite of myself.
He knows me, all of me, nothing is hidden from Him.

I am desperately in love with Jesus.

My Ava...

2008-02-03T09:19:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here watching my little girl play in her little activity center. She's getting so big. Time is going by so fast. I can't believe she is 8 months old. It seems like just yesterday, we were bringing her home from the hospital.
I love being a mother. Ava has brought so much joy to our lives. She is so beautiful. I love her sounds, her looks, and the way she reaches for me and smiles at me. I love to watch her study things and move around. I love to watch her play peekaboo.
Being a wife and a mother has changed me so much. For the better I think. I like taking care of my family. I'm so thankful that God gave them to me. They make me happier than I have ever been.

Lovin Life

2007-10-12T23:11:00.000-04:00

Keith and Ava--The loves of my life!

Hey guys. I know, it's been so long. We're doing great. Ava is growing like crazy! She's already 4 months! I am currently finishing my degree online through Liberty University's Distance Learning program. I'm loving it! Just wanted to do a quick update. I'll write more later!

A Heavy Heart

2007-08-16T14:39:00.000-04:00

I have a heavy heart this morning.
I'm feeling ashamed of myself.
My parents are going through some amazing things. God is speaking to them through someone else and great things are happening. They are passionate about God and have been faithful to Him through so many years.
I have learned that someone I know has given up their belief in God. They don't think He cares anymore. They don't trust Him anymore.
Then there is me.
I am married to the most wonderful man in the world. We have the most beautiful baby girl together. We have a home, a car, we're both in school. We serve as youth directors at a church. We have such a wonderful life and are so blessed.
But my faith in God has become so lukewarm. So stagnate. Today I read God's word for the first time in months. I talked to God and spilled my heart to Him for the first time in months. I am just so ashamed that I have let my relationship with God come to this. There are people who are literally walking next to Him, and people who have completely left His side. People who are making intense serious decisions about Him, going either way. But I am just standing at a distance looking at Him and doing nothing.
All the excuses I remember telling myself now seem so pathetic.
I have exposed my heart and soul to myself this morning and here is what I have discovered.

I have a deep desire to be someone who is "beloved of God."
I am extremely lazy and I need to be better disciplined with how I use my time.
I want my daughter to grow up seeing her mother as someone who is chasing after God with all her might.
I want to be a wife that my husband can be proud of.
I want to trust completely that God will always provide for my family and will take care of us.
I am truly and deeply in love with my God.

This is me.
God is God.
I think I'll start running now.

She is here!!!!

2007-06-04T10:01:00.001-04:00

I'd like you all to meet someone. This is my daughter, Ava.

She was born May 29, 2007.

7 pounds, 15 oz.

19 1/2 inches long.

She is without a doubt, the most beautiful little person I have ever seen.

21 hours of labor, and I'd do it all over again just to have her.

She had my heart the moment the laid her on my stomach.

I love this girl.

Getting Close

2007-05-20T22:30:00.000-04:00

There's just a few weeks left to go. I can't believe it! I mean, it's still going by REALLY slow, but I feel like I can finally see the finish line! It's really hard to believe that I'm going to have a baby! A little person who is part of me, and a part of Keith. And she's going to be OURS. I don't have to give her back to anyone. She's going to be ours. It's the most wonderful feeling in the world, knowing I'm going to have a sweet little baby that's going to be mine. My daughter.

Oh my goodness we are getting so so impatient! We are ready to see her beautiful little face. I can't wait to be able to post pictures of her on here and everywhere else! haha

I already love her so much. I love folding her precious little clothes and arranging her things in her beautiful little room! We get our new camera this week (HUGE thanks to my parents for that amazing bday present) so i'll post some pics of the nursery when I get it finished! :)

I've turned into such a Mom!! I like it.

Anyway, not much else is going on. We're just getting ready for the big day. Got the hospital bags and stuff by the door ready to go at a moment's notice.

Mom gets to come on like the 3rd and is staying for like all of June. YAY. We're so excited about that!

I suppose that's about it. I've got a lot to do, so I'll end this.

Ciao

Can't say much...

2007-04-20T10:35:00.000-04:00

I couldn't think of anything else that could describe what I was feeling this morning.

I'm finding myself at a loss for words

And the funny thing is, It's okay

The last thing I need is to be heard

But to hear what You would say

Word of God speak

Would You pour down like rain

Washing my eyes to see Your majesty

To be still and know that You're in this place

Please let me stay and rest in Your holiness

Word of God speak

I'm finding myself in the midst of You

Beyond the music, beyond the noise

All that I need is to be with You

And in the quiet hear Your voice

Word of God speak

Would You pour down like rain

Washing my eyes to see Your majesty

To be still and know that You're in this place

Please let me stay and rest in Your holiness

Word of God speak

I'm finding myself at a loss for words

And the funny thing is, it's okay...

--Mercy Me

He's my husband...

2007-04-11T12:34:00.000-04:00

When I was younger I had all kinds of ideas and thoughts about what I thought my future husband would be like. Just random weird things. Like how we would meet, or where and how we would get engaged.
But every dream, every thought or wish that I had, could never even come close to what God gave me. I have a man that has exceeded every expectation I've ever had about marriage and love. He tells me everyday how much he loves me. He tells me I'm beautiful all the time. He makes sure I'm taken care of and that I have everything I need. I feel safe with him.
We're going to have a baby together. We're starting our own family. I've never felt more at home. I love the way he talks to the baby in my belly.
I love how excited he gets when we talk about her getting here.
I love how he is the only person in the world who can calm me down when I get freaked out or emotional about having the baby.
I love how he can make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world when i feel like I'm bigger than a house.
I love how he knows me better than anyone.
I love this man more than anything. He's so amazing.
I can't wait to see him with our daughter. He already loves her so much. And he's going to be such a wonderful father. Ava is going to be such a lucky little girl to have a daddy that loves her so much. Just like I was. :)

Junebug

2007-03-29T19:42:00.000-04:00

So I had some braxton hicks contractions last night. Oh my friggin gosh. That wasn't fun.
Our little Junebug will be here in like 2 1/2 months! And my body is starting to "prepare" itself for her arrival. It's strange. A strange feeling knowing that I have a living person in my belly. And that she's going to be here so soon. I'm going to be responsible for another human being. She's going to be completely dependent on me. Wow. You'd think that would scare me! But I'm so excited about it. I get to be a momma. It's something I always dreamed about. I have my own little family! It's so wonderful!
Things are going good for us. I'm taking Keith to Mississippi tomorrow after our doctor's appointment for my family reunion. Should be fun! haha
We're busy with church and work these days, and Keith is busy with school as well.
We've got a couple of baby showers coming up that I'm excited about! And we're getting the baby furniture soon! And mom is busy busy making the crib bedding and things for the nursery! YAY! I'll post pictures when it is all finished!
I know, I've become one of those people obsessed with baby!
Sorry. haha
Well anyway, thats enough outta me. Hope all you are doing well!

Our baby girl!

2007-03-03T19:42:00.000-05:00

Keith and I have finally settled on a name for our baby girl that is coming in June! Ava Rowan Langley! We are so excited about her. Bought her some precious little dresses and outfits the other night! She's getting more and more active while still in my belly, and we can tell she's starting to get ready to come out! Just a few more months!!
Anyhow, we have a busy month ahead of us! Next weekend we have a disciple now weekend with Matt's church in Panama City. I'm going to see my parents in a couple of weekends, and then we have a family reunion to go to at the end of the month! Lots of stuff going on!
But we are doing well and my belly is growing! It's getting a lot harder to move around! :)
Anyhow, thats all for now!

Shocking!!

2007-02-26T19:01:00.000-05:00

Well we've just come from the doctor today. And the news is that we are having a GIRL!! We are very excited!! It was a little shocking, but after the stun of it, we are excited! She's healthy and right on track where she should be! Which we are very happy about! Anyway, just wanted to update. I'll write more later...

"They call this war a cloud over the land, but they made the weather and then they stand in the rain and say, 'shit it's rainin!'"

2007-02-08T18:43:00.000-05:00

I love Cold Mountain. There are some of the greatest lines in there!

Things are good! The baby is moving and kicking a lot! It's such a wonderful feeling!
We still don't know for sure what the sex of the baby is. Last time he wouldn't sit still long enough for the nurse to get a good look at it. He's a wiggle worm already! haha
Mom came and visited for a weekend! That was lots of fun. Got some cute maternity clothes!

I've been dying to see Pan's Labyrinth, and the closest place that it is playing is in Destin. Makes me mad. It looks so good. Supposed to be set in the Spanish Civil War.

Well thats enough from me!

Waiting for June...

2007-01-08T21:58:00.000-05:00

Lately I've been getting more and more anxious for June to get here. It's an odd thing to see my belly expand more every day and knowing that my son is growing inside of me. My son. I'm a mother. It's the most exciting thing in the world to me, knowing that I'm going to have my little baby in my arms soon. Knowing that he's going to be a part of me and a part of Keith. I'm so excited to be able to teach him things and show him about the world and about life and love. And I love to see Keith excited about bringing him into the world as well. It makes me so happy to see him already talking to my belly and to see how much he already loves our son. He is so excited about being a Daddy. I couldn't have dreamed up a better father for my children. God has shown me that my greatest dreams for my life don't even compare to what He has for me and my family. It really warms my heart to know that He knew about this little child from the beginning and he formed him and has a plan for his little life. I can't wait to see my parents with my baby. They are so excited and I know that they love him so much already. It's so crazy, I can't believe how much I already love this little boy in my belly. Keith knows that if I'm feeling sad for some reason, the one thing that is sure to cheer me up is talking about our baby, looking at the little clothes we have, and giggling about how we can't wait for him to get here.
So I dedicate this blog of thoughts and excitement to my son, Justice Montgomery Langley, who will be joining this world in June, 2007. I can't wait to see you, little one!

Too long, I know....

2006-12-25T13:11:00.000-05:00

I promise my blog isn't turning into a pregnancy monthly update thing. But I do have news about that. We had our monthly appointment on Friday and the nurse thinks we are having a little boy! She said she was almost positive, but we'll know for sure in January. It's so exciting. I'm so ready for my sweet little baby to be here in my arms. We've decided his first name is going to be Justice. I'm responsible for the middle name and I haven't picked one out yet! So we'll see. Keith and I are spending Christmas at my parents house along with my brother, sister in law, and nephew. It's been a lot of fun so far. We did presents last night.
Things are going really well for us. Keith got a job as a youth pastor at Piney Grove Methodist Church in Rehobeth. That's been a lot of fun getting to know the people there and getting involved. We have a lock in on New Years Eve so that should be fun. And Keith and I are moving into married housing in early January. The very sad news about that is that we are having to give up our boy, Joey. We got him last february. And we are planning on taking him to the humane society. We couldn't find anyone who could take him sadly. But its for the best. He deserves to be able to be outside all day and have fun.
There's not too much else that is new. We are doing really good and having a lot of fun. We love being married. I especially love being married to Keith because he's so wonderful. And he's going to be a wonderful father. I couldn't have imagined someone as great as he is.
Anyways... well I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas!

Update!!!

2006-12-02T20:37:00.000-05:00

We had our second prenatal appointment yesterday! We got to hear the baby's heartbeat and see it move around and all! You can now see the little head, arms, legs, and next time we'll be able to see the face better! It was so awesome to see it move around on the sonogram! And it sure did move alot. But everything is healthy and on schedule! We are so excited!

News!

2006-11-03T19:38:00.000-05:00

Well our official due date is June 16, 2007. I am 7 weeks and 6 days along right now. So really I'll be 8 weeks tomorrow. We have a picture of our little blob. I won't post it because you can't see anything of substance yet. it's just a little jelly bean, as keith says. Anyway, things are well.
I'm still sick quite a bit. But I'll live. And it won't be much longer.

It's just emotion takin me over...

2006-11-01T17:15:00.000-05:00

It occurred to me last night that my hormones are all out of whack. I watched a movie called "click" and literally sobbed through half of the movie. I just could not stop crying. It was just awful.
Anyway, we have our first prenatal appointment on Friday! We're very excited!
We've been doing pretty good. I'm having some good days now which is nice. I'm ready for this trimester to be done with though. I'm ready to be able to eat again!
Anyway, we're heading home for thanksgiving on the 18th! A whole week at home! I can't believe I havent seen my parents since august! We're very excited.
Well, I guess I'll update after the appointment this weekend!

Sweet Child O Mine

2006-10-11T09:31:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm officially going to be a Momma and Keith's gonna be a Daddy! I'm about 5 and a half weeks along right now. The due date is tentatively June 10th. We'll know a more accurate date when we have our first prenatal doctors appointment. Which will be in the next couple of weeks. We're still looking for a doctor right now.
Anyway, we're really excited about it! I got some maternity pants already!
Keith and I have been talking a lot about what kinds of things we want for our baby and how we're going to handle certain things. Its so exciting.
Anyway, well thats about it for now. More later.

Ciao

News...

2006-10-03T14:40:00.000-04:00

Hey everybody. Just wanted to inform all of you who don't know that we have a new addition coming into our family. Keith and I are going to have a baby!
We're both very excited! I don't know any details about the pregnancy yet, but will post when I see the doctor! Love you all!

Beauty

2006-09-27T20:07:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking about beauty lately. Beauty. What is it? We are told by society that beauty means being skinny, having a proportional face, having clear skin, wearing certain kinds of clothes. But do we really believe that? I've said this before, but I can hardly believe that something as dynamic as beauty can be so limited. It really makes me sad to see teenage girls with bullimia and anorexia and cutting themselves. What happened to being happy with who we are? We are beautiful, peculiar treasures made by God. Why is it so hard for us to believe that. If we all looked the same, then life would be really boring. I like my differences. I think it's time for us to rest in the fact that we belong to God. And start finding our self-worth in God and not what we look like.

So Keith and I are gaining on our second month of marriage! We really like being married. We're having a lot of fun! I was kind of sick of people telling me how hard marriage is. I mean, don't get me wrong, I know that its not rainbows and sunshine all the time, but it's all about how you handle things. We have arguments, but we let things go. We don't keep lists. He's so wonderful to me and I feel so blessed by God to have him as my husband. We fit together so well. I like being a wife.

We've been very busy since school started! That's why its been so long since I posted. School and work have all been killer for both of us. But we're getting into a routine and hopefully that will help us adjust to the business!

Well I gotta get back to work!
Ciao!

Hello, I'm Mrs. Langley...

2006-09-05T13:03:00.000-04:00

I know, I'm silly, but I just like saying it.
Things have been REALLY busy. This past weekend was the first time we've just been able to sleep in a lot and relax. It was really nice.
I'm supposed to give my first big speech in Speech class today. I'm nervous.
But it'll be okay. It wasn't so bad the first time when I got up to introduce myself. Of course this one has to be like 9-10 minutes. Err.
Anyway...
I've got so much work to do this week.
OOHhh. I got a new job!! Yesterday was my last day at the Ole' Piggly Wiggly. I'm super happy about that. I start at Southern Home Respiratory on Wednesday. It's mostly office work. But I'm excited.
Well gotta go.
Ciao.

I know it's been forever...

2006-08-29T09:23:00.000-04:00

It's been awhile I know. Things have been sooo crazy though. School started on the 14th and we're deep in it now. It's just crazy. I'm taking 15 hours and I never would have thought that it would be so difficult. But I'm trying really hard because I am determined to bring my GPA up. My husband is on the President's List with a freaking 3.9 something. He's a genius~ hehe (love you). Anyway, not much else is going on. Keith is meeting with a pastor today about a position in a church in Chipley. So keep that in your prayers. Anyway, I'm in Hermeneutics right now waiting for class to start... better go look over my notes for the quiz. Ciao.

I'm Married...

2006-08-07T22:55:00.000-04:00

I have just married the most wonderful man in the whole world. I have a husband. I am a wife. It is the most amazing thing in the world.

Pleasant memories... I couldn't resist.

2006-07-17T22:48:00.000-04:00

I couldn't resist. I found this on my Myspace and just about died laughing the whole way through! I am such a 90's kid! hahaha

You're a 90's kid if:

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You just cant resist finishing this... "Iiiiiiin west philladelphia born and raised..."

You remember TGIF on ABC. Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.

"Miss Susie had a steam boat, the steam boat had a bell..miss suzie went to heaven the steamboat went to hell_o operator please give me number 9 and if you disnconnect me i'll kick you from behind the fridgerator, there was a piece of glass, miss suzie sat upon it and broke her little ass_k me no more questions, please tell me no more lies the boys are in the bathroom zipping up their flies, are in the city the bees are in the park .......................... miss suzie and her boyfriend are kissing in the D-A-R-K- D-A-R-K D-A-R-K dark dark dar dar da dark"

You remember when Kurt Cobain, 2Pac, River Phoenix, and Selena died.

You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

You remember reading "Goosebumps"

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You danced to "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls, Females: had a new motto, Males: got a whole lot gay-er. (so tell me what you want, what you really really want.)

You remember the craze, then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.

furbies

You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...

You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record "Your FAVORITE song of ALL time"

Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show.

Captain Planet.

You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green Ranger were meant to be together.

When playing power rangers with friends you fought over who got to be who............and still all ended up being Tommy.

You remember when super nintendo's became popular.

You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos... but never taped anything funny.

You remember watching home alone 1, 2 , and 3........and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"

"I've fallen and I can't get up"

When you have played and beaten mario brothers/duck hunt.

If you ever watch cheers.

You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates

if you memeber when every thing was "da BOMB"

when they made the new lunchables so that you could make tacos and pizza!!

You wore socks over leggings scrunched down

"Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back" SHE ASKED HER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER FOR FIFTY CENTS CENTS CENTS TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS PHANTS PHANTS JUMP OVER THE FENCE THE FENCE THE FENCE
he jumped so high high high he touched the sky sky sky and he didnt come back back back til the forth of july ly ly he jumped so low ow ow he stubbed his toe toe toe and thats the end end end of the elephants show show show

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players

Writing M.A.S.H. notes. (and the twenty different versions of that)

Making those little fortune cookie things.. and then predicting your life with them.

You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool

And You Were Obsessed with either 'Nsync or Backstreet Boys. But never NEVER both...

You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"

You played and/or collected "Pogs"

You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere

You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.

You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles

Yikes pencils and erasers were the stuff!

All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.(pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.)

You remember when the new Beanie Babies and talking Elmo were always sold out.

You collected those Beanie Babies.

You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.

You remember a time before the WB.

You owned a portable tape player.

If you even know what an original walkman is.

You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

You know the Macarena by heart.

"Talk to the hand" ... enough said

You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"

You know the significance of the number 23. (go mj.)

You went to McD's to play in the playplace.

You remember playing on merry go rounds...at the play ground.

You remember dreaming to be on a Nickelodeon game show: Double Dare, Nick Arcade, GUTS, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Fun House, Figure It Out, ...

You all know you watched Hey Dude, and Salute Your Shorts...

Remember and You Cant Do That On Television where getting slimed first started!

Do You Love Orange Soda? Kel Loves Orange Soda.. Yes I doo I doo I doooo00000000000

When we were younger:

Before the MySpace frenzy...

Before the Internet & text messaging...

Before Sidekicks & iPods...

Before MIKE JONES...

Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX...

...Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.

When light up sneakers were cool.

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.

When gas was $1.00 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.

When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid $3.50 for a movie.

When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans.

When 2Pac and Biggie where alive.

When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.

Way back.

when it was all about N64.

Before we realized all this would eventually disappear

Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!!!!

Post this in your bulletin if you remember these days ....
If you grew up in the 90's you've gotta read this

Visions of wedding dresses dance in my head...

2006-06-12T22:00:00.000-04:00

I'm typing right now, happily, in a freezing cold house because of a thrilling new whirlpool air conditioner. Yess. I'm very happy about that. My landlord came and installed it the day after my other air conditioner broke up with me. haha
Anyway, I'm busy trying to nail down certain aspects that I want my dress to look like. There are so many decisions. Mom is making it so it's great to have it custom made for me, but being the extremely indecisive person that I am, it may be difficult for me to make a decision. poofy or straight? strapless or not? long or tea length? Yes, I have seen so many great dresses in magazines that I actually considered having my wedding dress tea length. Strange, I know. But I want everything about my dress to be unique. Mostly I just want it to scream, "I WAS MADE EXACTLY FOR LINSEY." So anyway, maybe my indecisions will flutter by the time we get down to PSL at the beginning of July. We've got a lot of things to do in those few days that we'll be there.
Anyhow, things are going well. I'm feeling very tired right now. Don't know why.
Keith is doing well. Working a lot, but the money is helping us a lot.
So hurricane something is in the gulf i hear? I really need to watch the news more. My mom actually called me today at work and told me about it. Yes, I'm a pitiful grown up.

Ta Ta

Incessant Squeaking...

2006-06-04T15:28:00.000-04:00

My air conditioner (it's a wall unit) has recently started to squeak and chirp. Very loudly I might add. So much in fact that I can't leave it on at night. So I have my little remote control fan blowing directly on me while I sleep. It makes my nose stuffy, but I can't be hot when I sleep otherwise I wont sleep at all. Anyway, the Landlord is supposed to be coming by today to check it out and see if we just need a new one. I'm hoping he'll get us a new one. That would be nice.
We're also going to ask him about painting the inside of the house. Maybe even the outside too. We really want to fix it up before we get married. That way it'll be more homey.
Anyways...
Things are good. Planning a trip to PSL for the 4th. I'm excited about that. Miss the parents.
Keith might get a job at subway. That's good.
Works okay...
Registered for the fall. All set. I moved things around so now i'm taking hermeneutics with Dr. Freeman, my all time favorite professor. I had him twice in the spring. Love him.
We watched Date Movie the other night. It was pretty lame.
Underworld 2 is coming out on DVD on Tuesday. WOOHOO. Im excited.
Takin Joey Tribbiani to the vet tomorrow for his checkup. We missed the one last month. haha
Anyway...
thats about it. Lifes kind of boring in Graceville over the summer.
Hopefully it will go by fast.
Ciao.

The Evening of May 26th, 2006

2006-05-27T02:20:00.000-04:00

Today was Keith's birthday, well, I suppose yesterday is in order since it's so late. We took a trip to Marianna to go to the bank, see The DaVinci Code, go to Gamestop, and go to Walmart. (and we ate somewhere in there too)
Anyway, it's been a wonderfully fun night. We got some groceries. I'm gonna make Keith some enchiladas tomorrow night (I know you're going to say something, Dad :)).
And I have been organizing my music and pictures while Keith is playing his new game. I'm startin to get tired. hahaha But I'm going to watch my new movie before i go to bed. I bought Mean Girls at Gamestop, used for like 8 bucks. Yay. I love bargain DVDs. Just to clue everyone in, if you want to get me a present, get me a DVD. I collect them. hehehe
We watched Ruor Has It last night, it was kind of funny. Not really that good, but cute I guess. Mostly just really weird. We also tried to watch the Producers and we didn't get past the first twenty minutes before we turned it off. hahaha It was stupid. I didnt like it.
So the Davinci code was weird. It just doesnt make sense to me. Perhaps the book is clearer.
Any comments about this are welcome here. But just to let you know I don't believe it.
Anyways...I suppose I'll be off now. I'll leave you with some pics Keith took. <3333

At the show....

2006-05-14T15:57:00.000-04:00

Keith and I drove to Pensacola yesterday to see a Project 86 show at the Venue. It was pretty amazing. Didnt really like the first band much. The second, Endings Edge or something, were really good. And of course, Project was incredible. I have never seen so much intensity and heart in someone as I saw in Andrew Schwab. He was unbelievable. I was so captivated by his performance in particular. But the band as a whole pretty much kicked ars. Keith loves them so it was also fun to watch him scream out all the songs. We were crammed in right next to the front left speaker. I was actually leaning on the side of it. It was so crazy. Couldn't hear much last night. hahahahahaha
It was fun to hang out with Kelli and Sean for a little while. We decided to drive back last night though.
It's mothers Day and I miss my Momma.

Water is invading my house...

2006-05-10T19:03:00.000-04:00

I have a pipe leak under the floor near my back door. It keeps puddling up in the back door entrance! Its driving me nuts. I have had to start sweeping it out the door because I am tired of using up all my towels. hahaha Hopefully my landlord will be bringing his plumber friend soon.
Anyhow...
Things are good. Finished my last final today. Yay. I'm glad this semester is over. That means only 7 months (218 days to be exact) till I get married!! Woohoo!
I'm still trying to decide if I want to take 12 or 15 hours next semester. I think I could handle it... Maybe. I don't know.
We're going to PCola this weekend. Going to see Keith's fave band in concert. I'm excited. I get to see my friend Kelli! We're staying with her and Sean. It'll be nice to see her. I miss her.
Plus my Grandmother is going to be driving through Pensacola so I'll get to see her for a little bit when they stop through. I haven't seen her in awhile! Yay again!
Well I'm playing the Sims.
Caio.

I'm smiling--Can't you tell....

2006-04-28T09:59:00.000-04:00

Keith and I spent the weekend in Panama City helping our friend Matt with his DNow weekend. It was fun. Good times...
Mom is in the process of finding a place for the wedding! She's looking at a couple of restaurants on the island so YAY. All I can say is wear your dancing shoes. If I see you sitting down and not dancing at my reception I will drag you out there and embarrass the crap out of you. Don't think I won't.
So, things are going well. I'm ready to be married. I'm ready to graduate. Haha. Gosh there's a lot of changes coming up. Good thing I love change. (for the most part) It was so funny, the other day when we took Joey to his doctor appointment, the nurse, Kacey, called me Mrs. Langley. It made me happy. Very happy. I didn't correct her. hahaha
We've got to go register soon! I'm excited about that, it'll be fun...
Anyway... Down to more important matters--
School will seriously be done like next week. I'm so excited. I'm ready for this semester to be over. I have a feeling this summer and next semester will go by very slow though.
So, I have fallen in love with my birthday presents from Keith. Sex and the City is my very favorite show. It's so funny, cause I used to hate it. I don't even remember why. But I just sat down and watched it one night, and I just love it. It's funny. And cute.
Anyhow
I'm taking 12 hours next semester. I wanted to take more, but with the wedding planning and all I didn't want to overload myself. But those 12 hours are going to be more than enough work all on their own. I have to take biblical hermeneutics, New testament survey, speech (yikes), and information technology in ministry...
IT won't kill me. The other three might. I'm nervous about speech. I dont do well up in front of people. I don't do well with speeches. I'm already getting nervous.
I'm still kinda tired from the weekend. But I still have another class after the one I'm in. Yuck.
Spose I'll go.. haha
Caio.

This is My Happy Face

2006-04-19T09:21:00.000-04:00

It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to....
haha I'm 22 today.. nuts
I don't have much to say really
235 days before I get married.
Joey is getting big... he sleeps with me and wakes me up every morning.
Gotta work today-yuck
Might have a fun job for next semester!!
I miss my parental units--they need to COME VISIT ME. hehehe
Keith made me a birthday cake--and he got me seasons 1&2 of Sex and the City <33333
I'm sleepy...
I did something the other day that I should have done months and months ago... and it felt like a load of bricks had been taken off my shoulder....
I'm ready for this semester to be over...
I'm done...
Caio

Easter bunny? Are you kidding me?

2006-04-16T17:57:00.000-04:00

I should be working on my notebook for psychology right now, but my mind is elsewhere. Keith and I went to our church in Geneva this morning for Easter Sunday. They put on their Passion Play. They did a good job.
I think Keith and I have mutually decided that our kids won't celebrate "the easter bunny."
It really takes away from the true meaning of the celebration of Good Friday and the Passion week. I mean, it's kind of a mockery to me. First of all, why does a bunny rabbit carry eggs around? Why is there an egg hunt? What is the freaking point? Please somebody tell me. I'm interested to know how the celebration of our risen Lord came to be a celebration of bunnys, candy, and eggs. Those things have nothing to do with Christ rising from the dead.
I don't know, maybe I'm just being crazy.
I just don't get it. Maybe somebody can explain it to me.

Time Flies... I hate flies...

2006-04-11T19:05:00.000-04:00

Has it really been this long since I've posted? Gosh. I've been all caught up in "myspace land." These last couple weeks. Don't worry, blogger is still very much in my heart. <333
Anyhow, things are going good. Busy busy, but good.
There's only like less than a month left of school. I got advised the other day. By the way I LOVE my advisor, Mrs. Railey. She's so freaking awesome. We're projecting me to graduate in Spring of 2008!! I'm so excited!
Anyway, Wedding plans are coming along. Mom's going to make my dress. I finally decided on that. This way I can get a custom dress that I will love and not just like.
Well, I've discovered something about myself.
I've become a negative person. I'm negative about so much stuff. I didn't even realize it. It's just become habit I suppose. But now that I've realized it, I'm going to change. I dont want to be like that.
So I've had a cold for like a week. My throat hurts so bad. ugh.
Well, I gotta go take some notes. I'll update more later.
Caio.

New Pic..

2006-04-01T15:07:00.000-05:00

I decided to change my pic. I was able to do so through this website. Thought it was pretty cool. So check it out yo. If you have a blog or some other page that needs a URL to put a pic up, this site is really easy to use.
Anyway, things are going well. I've about got the photographer for our wedding nailed down. He's one of my best friends' husband. I'm excited about that. Gave up on South Beach. Well, not completely. We just sort of skipped the first two torturous weeks where you're not allowed to have carbs or sugars. We are eating whole grained breads. Having eggs. Still eating sugar free pudding cups as our deserts. And eating more vegetables. It was hard being starving all day when we had class and work and everything. Anyhow, I've been playing with my myspace. Go check that stuff out too. Posted some new pics. And I got a song on there finally. If anyone can tell me how to put a background picture in there, then I'll be set.
Anyways...
Not much else is going on. Keith got a new desktop and an xbox 360! He loves it. The desktop is really nice. It has Windows Media Center on it... which is pretty cool by the way. And the computer matches his xbox. Haha I'm such a girl.
I suppose I have a lot to do so I better be going.
Caio

Fun in South Beach

2006-03-27T09:32:00.000-05:00

Keith and I have started the South Beach Diet. I hate it!!! No carbs AND no sugars for two whole freaking weeks. It's tough. We're hungry all the time. But we're trying to make up for it by eating a lot of meat and vegetables. I ate a lot of broccoli and cheese last night. Yes, I ate broccoli, and I LIKED IT. Only with a lot of cheese though. Anyway, it's good though, we're getting healthier.
I've got so much to do tonight. I have three chapters to read and write reading reactions for. I have to read the Baptist Faith and Message and write a reaction paper on that, and i have to write a website evaluation on a Southern Baptist Seminary.
OH MY GOSH. It's so much. But I'll get it done.
My notebook for Psychology and the marital interview are due April 18th I just found out. I thought they weren't due until the last day of class. Wow was I wrong.
So I need to get cracking on those too.
We're working on getting engagement announcements out right now. Mom's sent out about half of them already. I'm going to have to call people towards the end of the week to get more addresses to send the rest out.
So if you read this, and I haven't talked to you, or you know that I don't have your address--either post it in the comments, or email it to me (irishlass21@gmail.com).
Anyways--
I am so excited about getting married. I'm so ready. I'm ready to be a wife. I'm ready to be a mother. I'm ready to start my own family. It has been hard being alone for so long. Over holidays and such, I would always see how happy my parents are, or my brother and Tara are, and I would always be envious. I wanted to be happy and in love too. Now I am! And I love it. It's so much better than I ever imagined. I remember how I used to imagine the "perfect guy" for me. Keith is ten times more than my best idea of perfection. Not literal perfection, but perfection for me. We fit together so well. I love him so much. I can't wait to be his wife.
So anyway...
I'm going in to get advised next week. I'm going to be a Junior after this semester! Crazy huh. I have about 60 something hours left to take in order to finish my major.
I'm very excited.
Anyway, I gotta go to class and then to work.
Caio.

Living in a new day...

2006-03-06T10:00:00.000-05:00

Do you ever have something happen to you, something that you've been waiting for so long, and it happens, and you're just like, whoa. I had all these thoughts on how I would react when I got engaged. I was almost positive that I would burst into tears and sob.
Well, it happened! Last night Keith and I went out to Dothan to celebrate our 6 month anniversary. We stopped by the mall and I went to look at some clothes and he "went to look at some games." When in reality, he was going to get the engagement ring from Kays that he's had on layaway for a couple of months. Well we get in the car and we're heading to Conostoga's for some yummy steak and he turns on the car, then turns it off. He looks at me and grins. He tells me I'm the best friend he's ever had and he loves me so much. Then he sighs and turns the car back on, pulls up into the next parking space in front of us, then stops and turns the car off again. This is driving me crazy, he says, I was going to wait until we got to the restaurant. Then he pulls the ring box out of his pocket and smiles. He tells me he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He says he loves me more than anything. Then he asks me to be his wife. Of course I'm smiling ear to ear, bursting with excitement and love for this amazing man. He opens the ring box, which I don't think I even looked at, and I throw my arms around his neck and hug him. He says, will you? And of course I say yes, yes yes!!!! Then he reminds me that the ring is mine and I can take it, haha. I was so excited that I forgot to. It was a beautiful, silly moment. It was so sweet and I'll always remember it.
We ate at Conostoga's, which was amazing by the way. SOOOOO good.
SO I'M ENGAGED! I've got a beautiful ring on my finger, and a wonderful man on my arm. It's so weird though. It doesn't feel like I'm old enough to be engaged. It's just so weird to get something that you've waited so long for.
Anyway, we're getting married in December still. December 15th!!
Email me your address if you want an invitation and save the date card! irishlass21@gmail.com
Anyway...
That's about all my news.
Caio.

The Weekend...

2006-03-02T12:37:00.000-05:00

I'm taking a trip this weekend. I'll be picking up Steph, my matron of honor, and her little girl Hannah in Lake City, and we're heading down to Ocala tomorrow. Saturday, a bunch of us are going down to Orlando, including my mom and grandmother, to Davids Bridal. I'm gonna try on wedding dresses and kell and steph are going to try on bridesmaids dresses. I'm very excited about seeing my parents and hangin out with my girls. plus, of course i get to try on dresses for my wedding, yeah i'm pretty stoked about that. Anyhow, I'm really excited because i have recently found out that i'm going to be getting back a bunch of money from school. i'm excited about that.
Anyway... nothing much else going on. Keith and I are going to go shopping tonight, for food that is. and food for joey. He's getting big.
Well anyway I gotta work today so i can get off very early tomorrow.
Caio.

Live life... Love life...

2006-02-22T09:38:00.000-05:00

I've been spending a lot of time at Keith's house lately. We cancelled the internet at my house since they have it at his house so we like to be over there more. Plus that's where Joey sleeps and I think he likes it there more. Anyway, we've been doing homework and stuff over there. It's cool. I like his roommates. They're cool.
We gave Joey his first bath last night! He did so good. We haven't been able to bathe him because of his stitches. But it's been 8 days so they're healed. Anyway, we didn't have doggy shampoo, so we used Keith's. Now little Joey is all soft and fluffy and smells like Dove. haha. He was so cold though we turned on the space heater and he layed down in front of it for like an hour to warm up.
So we've started listening to Gary Jules. The guy who sings that song Mad World. Love that song. We heard it on CSI. haha
I'm so sleepy.
Finished up my housing apps. You know it costs 15$ to get a background investigation done at the police station? Plus there's a 15$ application fee at the apartment places. Craziness. I was only able to do one right now. I think I'll do the other next week. And I'm going to go by another place probably tomorrow to get another application.
Anyway...
Things are going well. Work, School... yada yada yada.
I'm really excited about my weekend of fun coming up. March 3, 4, &5th! I'm going to pick up Steph and lil Hannah in Lake City and we're going down to Ocala to spend the night with the Macs. My mom will meet us there. And then Saturday, me, Steph, Hannah, mom, Mrs. Tricia Mac, and KellBell are all going down to Orlando to go to Davids Bridal. My appointment is at 2. I'm going to try on bridal dresses, and the girls will try on bridesmaids dresses. I'm SO excited. My Grandmother might meet us there too. Then me and Steph and Hannah and mom will go back to PSL and spend the night at my parents' so that I can see my Papa.
It's going to be quite fun.
I'm going to my cousin Jamie's wedding on Saturday. It's in Gulf Breeze. Sadly, I have to go by myself cause Keith has to work. But it's okay. I'll take my camera and take pictures and such. Plus I get to see some of my family that I havent seen in FOREVER. So that'll be fun.
We're being put on the rotation for Childrens Church at our church. Should be fun. We're trying to get involved more. We got into a Sunday school class that we really like. It's all like 30 something married couples... haha.... but they're really awesome. We like it a lot.
Anyway, I've been getting alot of wedding ideas in mags and on the net lately. I'm trying to organize my thoughts into a notebook that way I don't forget any of them. ha
I'm really excited about the wedding. It's going to be a lot of fun. Not your average wedding you go to obviously.
But I think that I might not wear converse with my wedding dress. I know, big surprise right. But seriously, this will probably be the only time in my life that I get to be completely decked out and girly and stuff. So I figured why not go all the way. I'm still going to be very me, but a girlier kind of me. Get it? Course that doesn't mean I won't make my bridesmaids wear them. hehehe We'll see.
Anyways...
I have to work today.
We watched Shaun of the Dead last night. That movie is so funny.
Well I guess I should reenter paying attention in class. haha
Caio

Oh and check this out.

Honeymoon+Road Trip= TONS OF FUN

2006-02-19T22:37:00.000-05:00

Keith and I have pretty much decided that we want to take a road trip for our honeymoon. I'm SO excited! I started researching road trips online tonight and I found this one website that has this "intro" thing. It says this:

Everywhere you turn, people try to tell you who to be and what to do with your life.

We call that noise.

Block it, shed it, leave it for the conformists.

As a generation, we need to get back to focusing on individuality.

Self construction rather than mass production.

Define your own road in life, instead of traveling down someone else's.

Listen to yourself.

Your road is the open road. Find it. Find the open road.

I thought that was cool. I think we do need to get back to focusing on individuality. You walk into high school's these days and everyone looks the same. Everyone wants to be like everyone else. That's stupid. I know, I used to be like that. In middle school I was so obssessed with being like everyone else. It's such an unsatisfying way to live.

Anyhow, so we're going to start looking at places that we might want to visit and chart out a little route to take. I got the idea from Elizabethtown. Which was a great movie by the way.

Things are going well. Busy busy busy. Putting in some housing apps this week. I'm not sure if I'm going to do that or try and get a house with a couple of other girls. Not sure. We'll see.

Joey is growing already. We've only had him for a week and he's already gotten so much bigger. He's such a cutie.

School's good. I'm trying to keep up with homework and reading. Keith's helping me with that. He's so good at that stuff.

We've been talking about missions lately. It's exciting. We're going to start researching and praying about what God wants us to do and where He wants us to go. I think we're both ready for anything.

Well anyway, got lots to do.

Caio.

A New Addition

2006-02-11T14:28:00.000-05:00

I'd like to introduce everyone to the newest addition to my little family. This is Joey Tribbiani-Langley. Isn't he precious?

We love him!

Snickers Bars and Valentines Day...

2006-02-10T09:34:00.000-05:00

I love snickers bars. They are so good. The perfect blend of chocolate, caramel, and peanuts. Yum.
So I'm really excited about Valentines Day. It's Tuesday. Hello? Is this thing on? Yes I said I am EXCITED about VALENTINES DAY.
This will be the first Valentines Day of my WHOLE LIFE that I will not be "alone." Keith is going to make me this "delectable meal" as he said. Pork tenderloin that I can "cut with a fork," and other mouth watering treats. Then we're going to watch movies and spend a quiet night together. haha He was going to surprise me but i get out of school before him and he wouldn't be able to do it without me knowing. Today we're going to go to Dothan and go grocery shopping. And we're going to go look at puppies! There's an animal shelter up there and we found some cute puppies there online.
Anyway, I'm really happy right now. My phone bill is FINALLY paid off today. Whew.
I'm so glad that's over. And my direct deposit at work has gone through. YAY. Now I don't have to drive to Marianna every week.
I am in the midst of my Premarital Counseling notebook. It's so fun. I like working on it.
So the first weekend of march, me and a huge posse are going to Davids Bridal in Orlando to try on wedding dresses and bridesmaid dresses. My Grandmother, my mom, Steph, her mom, Kell, me, and Tricia Mac are all going. It's going to be a blast. I'm so excited. HAHA. Im hoping that I'll find what I want there. I'm taking a whole bunch of pictures from magazines with me.
Anyway... I've got a busy day ahead of me. have a great weekend.
Caio

Cold nights...

2006-02-05T21:59:00.000-05:00

It's quite cold up here in the land of living easy. Tonight I have been warming up with my space heater, bridal magazines, and tons of sources for my counseling notebook. I have cute little post-it book marker thingies to put on pages that I'm going to make copies of tomorrow night at the library. I feel so studious. Plus I've been ripping out pages of bridal magazines all weekend. I have tons of ideas for the big day. It's going to be quite unconventional, of course, but still elegant and beautiful. I'm so excited. Me, my Mom, my Matron of Honor Steph, one of my bridesmaids Kelly, Steph's mom, and our good friend Tricia Mac are hopefully going to go dress shopping in a few weeks in Orlando at Davids Bridal. I'll try on wedding dresses, and then of course Kell and Steph will try on Bridesmaid dresses. Oh my gosh I'm such a girl! Haha. I love it. But I'll stop now, I can hear people hurling somewhere. :) <333333
Anyway, Keith got his car fixed on Friday! We took it to church this morning. It was fun. He attempted to give me my first lesson in driving stick on the way back and it was a little bumpy. But still quite fun. hehehe
So I've decided that my favorite movie right now is Saved.
Friends is the funniest show ever.
I LOVE American Idol--and even though he won't admit it, Keith loves it too.
I have to find a new place to live... looking for cheaper.
I'm so excited to become Mrs. Linsey Mari Langley.
I love my French tapes.
I wish I didn't have to work, but then I'd be a spoiled brat.
I want a super nintendo.
Keith downloaded a bunch of nintendo and super nintendo games onto my computer! I have sup mar 3, donkey kong, zelda, and aladdin and so many more.
I hope that I can find a one bedroom apartment in government housing. PRAY.
I need to pay my electric bill tomorrow.
I want to see Underworld 2.
I miss my parents.
I'm tired.
Caio.

Forever

2006-01-31T21:21:00.000-05:00

The concept of forever has recently occurred to me. As most of my dearly devoted blog readers know, I have started planning my wedding. The wedding of my dreams, to the man of my dreams. It's all so exciting and fun. My mom and I have been emailing and talking on the phone about plans and such. It's awesome.
Anyway, as I sat with Keith tonight on the couch, watching American Idol, it occured to me that I will be spending every night, every day, every moment for the rest of my life with this man. Now, while I get how that would freak most people out, I was so overwhelmed with happiness and comfort, that I couldn't stop giggling. I mean, the thought of getting married and having to be with someone for the rest of my life used to completely scare the hells out of me. Yes I used to be a little commitment phobic. But since I have been with Keith, the thought of being with him every day and night of my life makes me so happy. It makes me so excited because I know that he's going to take care of me and love me for the rest of my life. He'll always be here for me. Forever. I get to share my life with Keith FOREVER. <333 Hells Yeah. HaHa
Anyway... classes are good. My favorite is my Psychology class. Premarital and Marital Counseling. It's fun I get to make this fun notebook and do personality profiling and all kinds of awesome things. It's such a fun class.
Work's good. Same ole Same ole.
I bought a new walkman to listen to my French tapes. Haha. Vous-etes Americain? Je Comprenez le Francais. Je m'appelle Linsey. Yeah Yeah, got a long ways to go to freshen up the old French language from the back of my mind... haha.
Well anyway, I'm done tonight.
Caio.

Ahhh....Breathing....

2006-01-28T14:01:00.000-05:00

I'm feeling a lot better right now. The day's been rough but I'm back to being happy.
And as I had wedding plans bouncing on all the walls of my mind, I thought I would post some pictures! Enjoy!

I don't get it...

2006-01-19T15:39:00.000-05:00

So today was a weird day. I'm going to say something and I'm going to say it as nicely as I possibly can. There's somebody who has something against me, or who is out to get me into trouble because of something I posted awhile ago. That's fine. Feel the way you feel. I'm not going to try to change your mind. But I have a few things to say to you. First of all, you should have come to me about it. You didn't have to take it to somebody else to try and get me in trouble. That was really childish. Be an adult and confront me. Secondly, a lot has changed since then. I don't do it anymore. But that is irrelevant. This goes to everyone. If you have a problem with someone about something they are doing or not doing or anything.... confront them yourself. It's the grown-up thing to do. Don't judge them and then run your mouth to someone else or something. It's stupid.
Anyways.... off that soap box. I got a lot of reading to do.
And I'm going out to eat with Heidi and Amy tonight. I'm excited it should be fun!
Well anyways~
I guess I'm done here. This is my blog. I vent my feelings, frustrations, loves, hates, and my life here. It's me, uncut. Completely uncensored. DEAL WITH IT.

School

2006-01-15T19:16:00.000-05:00

Well, the break is over (not much of a break for me..) School starts up again tomorrow. I'm excited. A new semester. New classes. New Job.
Keith starts back as well. He's really excited. We have two classes together! That should be fun. Hopefully we'll get our books in the mail monday or tuesday. I'm supposed to go talk to Dr Malone tomorrow about a job in his office. Depending on the hours that he needs I might be able to work both jobs. So we shall see. That would mean more money which always helps. Keith is going to have 3 jobs! We're going to open a savings account and start saving for a certain occasion in December! <333 That's right, folks. LINSEY IS GETTIN MARRIED. YAY! I'm so excited! Keith is so excited! My parents are so excited! My friends are so excited! And my roommate is excited, of course she'll be getting married Dec 30th. So she's extra excited.
This wedding is going to be amazing. It's going to be somewhere along a beach... We're going to rent a place for like a week and have like a week long party! I'm so excited. It's going to be SO me. So unique. So fun, and so memorable.
I love you Keith<3333.>We're getting married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ebooks Sucks

2006-01-11T23:31:00.000-05:00

I would like to take this time to vent how much I hate our school for making us start buying our books online. It's such a hassel. And so freaking expensive. Thought I found them real cheap on Amazon, but nope... they don't ship for like 4 to 6 weeks. GRRRRR. They had to put in a freaking coffee shop didn't they.

Now and Then...

2006-01-07T21:10:00.000-05:00

Keith's been working a lot lately, cause they're short a manager. It sucks, but it's also been nice to have some "me" time. When I hung out with Amy the other night we were talking about how differently our lives have turned out than what we had expected and planned on. It's just funny when I think about it. I mean, all my life I pictured finishing college, getting a job, living on my own, then meeting someone and settling down. I never in a million years dreamed that I would fall in love as soon as I have. Don't get me wrong at all, I have never been as happy as I am with Keith. And I am so excited that he's the man I am going to marry. It's just funny to think how stupid my old plans for my life look compared to God's plans that He had all along. I'm so glad that it's not up to me. I would have definitely screwed it all up long ago. I screw up a lot of things these days.
Honestly, my relationship with God hasn't been the same since I left BCF before. I'm not even sure how or why I got so far off track. I think I got mixed up in the freedom and holiness line. My dad's been doing a study on holiness. He lost track of it too. I don't know, before, I was so legalistic. Everything was about all the rules and not doing this and not doing that. And when I left school, I kind of went to the polar opposite side. Everything was fine and I had freedom to do what I wanted and my faith just became kind of a convenience thing. When I felt like it I would go to church or talk to God. I just got lost trying to balance it I guess. How do you make your faith not about the rules, but not completely about the freedom? I'm still not sure. But I feel like I finally realize what the problem has been.
Keith and I were talking about it the other day. I've gotten to a point where I can't stand Christians. And it shouldn't be that way. I should have love for my brothers and sisters in Christ. And even if they are judging, I shouldn't judge them.
There are a lot of things that Keith and I have talked about that we're going to change.
Well anyhow, I start my new job at Piggly Wiggly today. Just 4 hrs. For training. Exciting, yes. hahaha
I'm gonna go.
Caio.

Facebook

2006-01-06T00:56:00.000-05:00

I've found this cool place, facebook.com. You have to be a student to join. But it reconnects you with like tons of people from highschool. Craziness.
Might start workin at Piggly Wiggly tomorrow. Have to call in the morning to find out.
Anyways...
So today is 4 months for me and Keith. Thats a long freaking time. Of course, compared to alot, its not long. But it's huge for me. And I'm really happy. He makes me so happy.
He's playin Halo right now. haha he's so funny when he trash talks.
Anyways~ got to hang out with Amy tonight. That was cool. Havent hung out with her in forever.
School starts back soon...
got a new heater for my house in the mail. *thanks mom and pop.
And I made these incredible little creations the other day... they're called peanut butter cornflake balls. found the recipe online. Super good.
Oh my gosh i'm tired.
Caio

The New Year...

2006-01-01T23:18:00.000-05:00

The new year has come again. Craziness. I know it's been forever since I've posted. No I'm not going to make a resolution to post more. This blog is just for me to vent or talk whenever I feel like it. I am however going to try and start walking a few nights a week with Keith. We've gotten kind of lazy. We had a good trip up to Hiram Georgia. I met Mark and Jamie and the kids. It was fun, and everyone was really nice. They were very welcoming.
We bought a cute little digital camera. It was our Christmas present to each other. Went to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Yes, believe it or not I have turned into a Harry Potter fan. Keith made me watch the Prisoner of Azkaban and I loved it. So we went to see the other one in the theater. Last night (New Years Eve) we went over to Laddie and Aprils and played Scene It the TV version with them and another couple. It was fun. Didn't watch the ball drop or anything. That whole thing is getting old to me. I don't see why it's such a big deal. It happens every year.
Anyway, being away from mom and pop this year at Christmas kind of made me realize that everything is different now. I'm a grown up. It's kind of a scary realization to come to. I mean, I know my parents will always be there for me if I need something. Their family, and they're not going anywhere. But now my life is up to me. I'm living my own life. By myself. It's kind of scary. I guess it's just weird to think about it. Dad mentioned it when they were up here before. I won't be living under their roof again. It's just weird. I love my parents so much. Theyve taught me so much about life, love, God and about the world. And while I have strayed from their teachings time and again, I've learned from those mistakes, even though it was the hard way. But those lessons have stuck. Mom, Dad, I love you guys to death. You have been the best parents ever. Even though I have messed up a lot you have always stood by me. Even though, at times, I have brought disappointment to you, you've encouraged me to pick myself up. Thank you guys so much for the teachings you have given me. You've shown me that God is bigger than they teach us about in church. And that He means us to enjoy life and the fullness that it brings. --I love you guys.
Now it seems, along with the new year, I am beginning a new chapter in my life.
Happily, though, I won't be alone. Keith, darling, my love grows for you with every passing day. I am so happy to be with you. Laughing, talking and even crying with you. I realize that it's not always going to be daisies and sunshine, but I want to be there during the hard times too, as I know you do. I love you so much.
So enjoy the new year everybody. Be happy. Be sad. BE ALIVE.

I'll be home for Christmas...If only in my dreams...

2005-12-14T13:22:00.000-05:00

This will be the first year of my whole life that I won't be with my parents for Christmas. It's so weird. I'm going with Keith to Hiram, Georgia for about four days. i'm excited. I'm going to meet some people who mean a lot to him. It's going to be a lot of fun. We're going to buy a digital camera together for our "christmas presents." However we both hate the man-made tradition of Christmas. Santa...presents...reindeer...elves...christmas trees. It's rediculous.
Anyway, enough of that.
My parents are going to be driving through before christmas cause theyre going to Lucedale Mississippi to see my daddy's fam.
Oh and P.S. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, was AMAZING!!! It was so good. I also watched the 40 year old virgin, and Harry Potter the prisoner of azkaban last night. Which were both rather good as well. We just got cable internet on Monday so thats nice.
Anyways... gonna get some work done..
Caio

I love you...

2005-12-07T13:00:00.000-05:00

Here With You

You're voice, You're touch, You're sweet smile

Beckoning and calling and

You're words, You're songs, You're strong arms

Catching and holding

Now I am lost, Don't care where I am

Now I am lost, I don't care, I don't care

As long as I'm here with you

Talking, Laughing, Singing,

Oh I'm here with you

Holding and breathing

I'm here with you

Resting and dreaming

So safe with you

There's no one that even compares with you

You're my first choice

Even when its hard

I know I want more, want more of you

All of you

Now I am lost

Oh now I am so very lost

Now I am lost

As long as I'm here with you

Talking, Laughing, Singing

Yeah I'm here with you

Holding and breathing

I'm here with you

Resting and Dreaming

So safe with you

I'm so safe with you

--Simple Fool

Exams...

2005-12-03T16:27:00.000-05:00

Exams are next week. I've been trying to get all my studying and last minute assignments done. I can't believe the semester will be done for me on Wednesday. It's so crazy. It's just flown by. And believe it or not, Monday will be 3 months for me and Keith. That blows my mind too. Although it feels longer. I think it's the time warp here in graceville. You know, since you see each other every day, three months is like 9 months in normal world time. Anyway, we're doing laundry now... and I have to take him to work shortly. But I'm going to pick up some pictures we got developed last night. I hope they turned out okay. I miss my parents a lot. They're coming up the weekend of the 17th though I think.
I get to see my best friend stephanie on me and keith's way up to hiram georgia on the 23rd. yay. I can't wait to see her and the girls. anyway, got lots to do... update more next time.
Caio

Thanksgiving Holidays...

2005-11-26T14:26:00.000-05:00

I have eaten so much that I am actually tired of eating. Mmm. Those turkey sandwiches and pumpkin pies (that i made of course) were amazing. And it was fun being with my family and having Keith here. He's one of the family now. It's awesome. We're both so excited!
Mom took some pretty pictures of us today. This whole vacation has been really relaxing. and fun. We're going to see Walk the Line today.
Anyhow... I don't really have much to say except that I AM SO FREAKING HAPPY. That's all. I hope everyone had a happy thanksgiving.
Caio

Being a grown up...

2005-11-22T17:08:00.000-05:00

I've recently disovered that I am a grownup now. I had to balance out my checkbook today and Pay some bills. It really sucks. Oh well, it's part of life I suppose.
Keith and I are leaving to go home to my parents' house for Thanksgiving tomorrow. I'm excited about food and seeing my parents. Should be fun. I had such an awesome talk with my mom today and I'm so excited about seeing her and my daddy. Me and mom get to spend a whole night together on Fri night. My daddy and my brother are taking Keith to a Miami Heat bball game. So I'm excited about that.
Right now I've got a ton of homework to do. Which I'm doing as we're also doing laundry to get ready for tomorrow.
Got my haircut yesterday. It's just above the shoulders. I love it except for my bangs. She cut them slightly too short. So I've been pinning them back cause they just stick out everywhere.
Anyway.. I better get this done before keith gets on to me again for not doing it.. haha <333 Just kidding.
Caio

The End is Near...

2005-11-14T14:58:00.001-05:00

I can't believe next week is Thanksgiving vacation. The semester only has like two weeks left. It's crazy. I'm excited about our trip home for Thanksgiving though. Should be a good time. There is so much for me to finish before classes end though. Gosh.
Keith took me to the peanut festival friday night. it was fun. We rode the ferris wheel and he won me a cute little stewie doll.
Now if anyone has any doubts or problems about my relationship with Keith--first of all you can kiss my big toe. But after that, go read his blog>>http://allyourheroesaredead.blogspot.com/
If you don't get why I'm in love with this guy after reading that, YOU'RE A RETARD.
haha... anyway, I should finish this video we're watching in class...
Caio

(Posted from my Xanga Site)

2005-11-11T15:03:00.000-05:00

Screw everything I've ever thought about love, commitment, and marriage. I've found a love so amazing that it makes me want to cry sometimes just out of pure joy. I've never felt as beautiful and as wanted and loved as I have since I've been with Keith. He's so incredibly amazing that it takes my breath away. He's it. He's the one that God made for me. We fit so perfectly together that I have a hard time believing that it's still real. But it is. It's not a dream. I've found the man that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. It's such a beautiful revelation to come to. I'm so in love with him. He takes care of me. He tells me he loves me all the time. He tells me I'm beautiful. He tells me I'm special and amazing. He calls me his baby. He loves me. He's gorgeous and incredible and sweet and loving. And he's so attentive to me. He cares about what I want and think about. This is so much more than I ever thought it could be. Ever. I love it.

The Used
"I Caught Fire (In Your Eyes)"
Seemed to stop my breath
My head on your chest Waiting to cave in
From the bottom of my...Hear your voice again
Could we dim the sun And wonder where we've been
Maybe you and me So kiss me like you did
My heart stopped beatingSuch a softer sin
(I'm melting, I'm melting)
In your eyes I lost my place
Could stay a while And I'm melting
In your eyes Like my first time
That I caught fire Just stay with me
Lay with meNow
Never caught my breath
Every second I'm without you I'm a mess
Ever know each other Trust these words are stones
why cuts aren't healing Learning how to love
I'm melting (I'm melting)
In your eyes I lost my place
Could stay a while And I'm melting
In your eyes Like my first time
That I caught fire Just stay with me
Lay with me(Stay with me lay with me now)
You could stay and watch me fall And of course I'll ask for help
Just stay with me now Take my hand
We could take our heads off stay in bed just make love that's all
Just stay with me now
I'm melting (I'm melting)
In your eyesI lost my place
Could stay a while and I'm melting
In your eyes Like my first time
That I caught fire Just stay with me
Lay with me In your eyesI lost my place
Could stay a while and I'm melting
In your eyes Like my first time
That I caught fire Just stay with me lay with me
(Stay with me, lay with me)
In your eyes
Let's sleep till the sun burns out
I'm melting in your eyes (I'm melting in your eyes)
Let's sleep till the sun burns out
I'm melting in your eyes

"Satan's Trick is no Treat"...are you serious?

2005-10-31T14:56:00.000-05:00

I saw this little line on a church sign the other day and I had to laugh. Satan's trick? Really? That's so sad. These sweet little baptist churches spend all their time being against the stupidest things. Honestly, is dressing up and going out to get candy really of the devil? I don't think so. It's just something fun for the kids to do. That's all. They don't say much about santa clause or the easter bunny. Gosh that's silly.
We carved a pumpkin last night. It's so cute. We're going to light it tonight when the kiddies come tricl-or-treating. I'm excited. It's so fun. Wish I couldve had time to come up with a cool costume. Oh well. No need.
I have to spend some time in the library and the comp lab today. For my NT project. I need to jump on it. There's so much to do for it! Anyone know anything about Haggadah? He said we could find some stuff on the net to download. But there's like six elements of the project. Its due the 18th. I'm a little bit nervous about the exam on Wednesday. I typed out the study guide. It's almost two pages. I have to memorize The events of the passion week (Sun-Thurs) and writed it down for the exam. Yikes. I really want to do well though. So i'm gonna hit it up tonight and study hard.
I also need to register. Soon.
I can't believe November is tomorrow. I can't believe we're this far through the semester.
Gosh time flies.
November 5th will be 2 months for me and Keith. <333333 That's so huge. Well, everyday I'm with him is huge because this is the longest I've ever been with anyone. He's coming home with me for Thanksgiving. So that'll be fun. I'm going to hopefully make some pumpkin pies before then or to take with us. Of course I'll be on the phone with mom every step of the way. haha I'm learning from the master. She's such a killer cook.
Well that's about it. Have a fun night.
Caio

Busy Busy Busy

2005-10-28T14:49:00.000-04:00

I know it's been FOREVER since I've posted. My bad. Things have been so hectic. They still are, but I got a free minute in my HI class. So I thought I would get it done already. Things are going okay. I have a bladder infection. I've been downing cranberry juice like it's chocolate milk. It's officially my least favorite drink. But it's starting to get better.
The weekend home with the boyfriend went well. We got in an accident when we stopped in Ocala for gas and coffee. Nobody got hurt, and only some denting on the car. It was craziness.
It's so cold here! I've got to go to walmart tonight and buy a space heater to keep me warm at night. Of course my down blanket is killer at that, but the rush of cold in the morning when i get up kind of sucks.
Well thats about it... nothing new really.
Caio

Late night trouble...

2005-10-17T15:02:00.000-04:00

So this weekend was craziness. Well, actually just saturday night was craziness. Mix a couple of angry ex-girlfriends and their friends, throwing bags of dog bones, and stupid ex-boyfriends getting mad and calling the cops, and you have one insane night. I know it doesn't make any sense. I can't really explain it anymore because it's so stupid. Long story short, the cops laughed in their faces for wanting to press charges. It was fun hangin out with Heidi and Heidi and Kelly and Mon though.
Anyway, enough of that. Saw my Grandmother on Sunday morning. She, Aunt Bea, and Paw Paw Randi were driving back through from Lucedale. So me and Keith met them in Chipley at Walmart and chatted for a short bit. Got my oil changed...found out i have an oil leak somewhere. That was fun. Ate at waffle house!!! MMMMM. I haven't eaten there in forever and it was sooooo good. Never had their scrambled eggs before and they were good. If the waffle hadn't filled me up so much I would have inhaled them. haha
Anyway, I'm really tired today and I have to go to work after my next class. That kind of sucks. But I REALLY need the money right now. The office depot job didn't work out. Oh well. I'm okay where I'm at so I'll just leave it.
I'm excited about Wednesday night. Me and Linds are making dinner. wink wink <333
Anyhow...
I have to go to New Testament now. Our 3rd exam is Nov 2nd or 3rd. We have to write out the chronological events of the Passion Week for memory. Well he is letting us use our bibles, but it's still crazy. Anyway, gotta run.
Caio

2005-10-14T14:46:00.000-04:00

The essence of beauty is transient, short-lived, fleeting. It is in the eye of the beholder, relative to the correlation of things at hand and our mood at any given moment. It is fairer and better than what we see or hear. It is born out of the commonplace, household life, personal relations, beating heart, meeting eyes, poverty, necessity, hope, and fear. And, finally, the real celebrating of its presence comes as we recall it in our memory, replaying the old records of our thoughts, gazing at the gallery of pictures with the eye of remembrance, and singing the song that is going on within us, a song to which we listen. These moments are the pinnacles of our experience, lifting us out of the dreary circumstances and giving us pleasure and delight until we fall back and again become our ordinary selves. They must be interwoven into our daily existence in order to make life endurable and sweet.-Luci Swindoll

I found this in my bible. I thought it was pretty.

I'm in History class again. Bored again. Thought I needed to post. Laddie just told me about this shirt he wants. On the front it says, "There's no such thing as rededication, it's called repentance." On the back it says, "Rededication is like crucifying Christ all over again." Or something of that nature. I don't know if it exists or if he just wants it made. But I never thought of it that way.

I have my history exam on monday. Gotta get a little studying done this weekend. Next weekend looks like I'm taking Keith home to meet the Papa. I'm excited and nervous about it. This is such a huge thing. Uncharted territory. haha. Anyway, I'm really excited to see my daddy. I haven't seen him since August. I got to see my nephew on Tuesday. My brother and his fam were driving through and stopped in to have lunch with me. Jax is so big! He smiled at me and talked a lot. He's so cute. I love him so much.

The weather is cooling down! It's getting so beautiful! Yay. I can't wait to be able to bundle up when I go outside in jackets and scarves and hats.

2005-10-05T15:04:00.000-04:00

The Potion Maker
linseyluck21ium is a milky, pasty beige gel gleaned from the liver of a dragon.
Mix with linseyluck21! Username:
Yet another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern

I know this is kind of weird, but it made me laugh.

So I have two midterms on friday. Yuck.

I had a fun night monday. That's right. It was a month on monday. I'm in the officially longest relationship I've ever been in. We went to La Bambas and then to Blockbuster and got some dvd's. <33

I'm really tired today. Probably because I know how much work I have to do. We're skipping out on going to PC tonight so I can get it all done. We might stop going on the weekends too. dont know yet.

I'm hopefully going to get to see my brother and his wife and my nephew on their way to Pensacola next week. I'm excited.

I miss my parents. A LOT.

My refund check isn't in at the school yet. That sucks. I was counting on that money. And they can't say when it'll be in cause they don't know. Gosh that pisses me off.

Anyway, enough of my soapboxes. I'm gonna go to my next class.

Caio

Lazy Days at home...

2005-10-02T17:02:00.000-04:00

I love lazy days at home...
I like making breakfast at 10:30...
I like watching Snatch while I'm doing homework...
I like taking trips to Dothan with Keith...
I DONT like hearing about stupid boys who hurt my roommate...
I DONT like doing history homework...
I LOVE Lords of Dogtown!! Excellent movie!!
I LOVE my parents more than anything in the world...
I LOVE that I'm so happy right now...
I like watching Friends episodes in the middle of the day...
I miss my family to death...
I hate that I have work to do right now...
Caio

Sweater Weather

2005-09-28T14:56:00.000-04:00

I'm so excited about fall. I love wearing sweaters and scarfs and jackets. It's approaching slowly this year. We just had a cold front so it cooled off just a bit, but it's still warm.
So my Hobbit Name is Pearl Loamsdown. Isn't that funny?
And my Elvish Name is Enelya Ancalímon.
I love those little things online. They're so fun.
I'm in History class right now. And I'm bored to death. So I'm playing on my laptop. haha
So things are going pretty good. Going to PC tonight as usual (Keith is speaking!) But not this weekend. I'm going to get caught up on some reading and homework. There's so much to do. I can't believe midterms are starting next week. Actually my Eng Lit midterm is this friday. Tomorrow night will def be spent studying. I have to do well on that one.
Dr. Freeman gave us a copy of a sermon today on "the evils of alcohol." Interesting. I hate that I have such a cynical attitude. I should work on that. I've gotten to where I just tune people out when they start talking about things like alcohol or homosexuality. Mostly to prevent myself from getting super angry. I hate it that people pick certain sins out and label them as "the worst sin ever." Just because they don't struggle with it, it's absolutely awful. I like being back here in Graceville and everything, but I am getting so sick of self-righteous people who judge other people. Don't even get me started on "The Judgement House." That place is freaking rediculous. Makes me want to vomit.
Well I guess I should do some listening to this boring lecture.
Caio.

OH MY GOSH

2005-09-22T14:37:00.000-04:00

I'm so tired of hurricanes. I want them to go away FOREVER. My momma is coming to visit me tomorrow and she's staying until Sunday. I'm SO excited! I miss her and my daddy very much. I wish my daddy could come too but he has to work. :(
So to Meg---No I wasn't implying that you said anything of that nature! I know what you meant! I just don't know why anyone would assume that just because God brought someone into my life who makes me happy, that it automatically means that we're going to get married or something crazy like that. I'm not in a rush to get married. You got that EVERYONE? NOT READY!!! I'm in NO WAY ready for that kind of commitment. (Please refer to my entry on July 30th.) I know what you meant, Meg! Love you! Girls night is going to rock out tonight! I'm excited!
Anyway, so I made an 87 on my History test!! I was so excited! I studied hard and made this super duper study guide. Seemed to have worked. :)
I'm tired. I need more sleep.
MY BROTHER IS HOME FROM IRAQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so happy that he's back. Got back late Monday night. He's with his wife and baby boy, Jackson. YAY.
Lets keep the gulf coast in our prayers. I hope LA doesn't get flooded again.

late nights... early mornings

2005-09-15T14:34:00.000-04:00

I've been traveling to Panama City each Wednesday and weekend with Matt and Amy and Keith. I really like their church, where matt is the youth pastor. Plus I just like hanging out with all of them. We always have a good time. Anyway, on Wednesdays, we leave like at 4:20 on the dot and go straight to church. Then we usually grab a bite to eat after and go back to matt's parents house. staying up late, and then hearing amy wake me up at 6:00 in the morning, is crazy. but i think it's worth it. Good times...
I had my first sectional exam yesterday in New Testament. I felt like i did good. We'll see.
Anyway, work is going well. I don't mind it now that I'm only working on tuesdays and thursdays. Gives me more time to study.
And yes, believe it or not I'm dating someone. His name is Keith and he's really great. He makes me happy.
Well I need to get back to work. lata

Katrina sucks

2005-09-04T15:56:00.000-04:00

I can't believe how much has happened. Katrina completely to up Louisiana and Mississippi. It's just insane. I was sitting watching all the footage the other day and I couldn't even speak. I just wanted to cry. Lets keep all the evacuees in our prayers.
I'm in PC again. I really like the church here. Well, not just the church. I come down with Matt, Amy, and Keith and I always have a great time when I go. So yeah, i enjoy it. haha
My bro is coming back to the states this month!!! He's been in Iraq (Baha Ria I think) since Feb. I'm glad he's coming home to his family though.
Things are going really well. Classes are crazy. Work is fun. I like my roommate! I like my house. I like my friends. I like... well anyway, we'll see.
I'm trying to readjust my body to the "college sleep schedule." Its not working out very well. haha
Oh well... I can sleep when I'm dead.
I suppose thats all for now. Until the morrow.

A Mississippi Girl don't change her ways...

2005-08-29T16:34:00.000-04:00

I really like that Faith Hill song. Of course the title line is actually the only lyrics in the song that I know. But I just like it cause I'm a Mississippi girl. And I don't change for nobody.
So that hurricane is enormous! I've spend the past weekend in Panama City with some friends just hanging out. We're lucky though, we only got some outer bands. Just a little wind and rain. I think we're going back to Graceville tonight. I have to work tomorrow. Anyway, just thought I would update. Holla back.

Going back...

2005-08-15T20:19:00.000-04:00

It's hard to go back somewhere after you've been gone for so long. Everyone changes, they grow and move on. But it's not that bad for me. I really like it so far. I think i'm going to have a great time being back here in gville. I've hung out with lots of old friends. which is fun.
I'm going to like my classes as well I think. My eng lit class is going to be really interesting. I learned a lot even on the first day. I like mrs. knowles. she's cool. i like my new testament teacher too, dr. richards. he's cool. there's only like 8 people in that class. which is weird, but fun. well, gott scram.

The time has come...

2005-08-04T18:19:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm nearly all packed up. We're loading my car tonight and I'm leaving in the morning for my Grandmother's house. I'm going to spend the day with her. My parents are coming later in the afternoon when dad gets off work. We'll spend the night there, and then head for Ocala Sat morning, get the uhaul, load up my stuff thats in storage, have some lunch with friends, and head up to Lake City to spend the night with some friends. Then Sunday morning is the home stretch. We'll be in Graceville around 1 or 2 ish. And that's the plan.
I can't believe it's here already! It feels like I've been waiting years for this day to get here! But it's here. And I'm moving out... again. haha
Seriously, I'm excited.
I guess that's about it. Then next time I post, I'll be in my new home.

"Your maker is your Husband, the Lord Almighty is His name, The Holy One is your Redeemer, the God of all the Earth."

2005-07-30T21:58:00.000-04:00

I've come to a point in my life where I am so tired of the incessant need for companionship. I mean, the need for everyone to have a significant other. Seriously, it seems like it's an obsession these days. I can't visit any of my extended family without them asking if I am engaged, married, or pregnant. All of my cousins who are my age and older (and some younger ones) are all married already and having babies. I don't want to be one of those people who just has a dire need for a man in my life. I've stopped looking because I'm just sick of it. I have dreams and aspirations and goals that I want to reach that have nothing to do with getting married. I still say that I want to get married and have children someday. But I just don't want it to be a priority yet. I'm 21. I'm young and I have a lot that I want to experience. I don't care to tie myself down so soon. I have nothing against people who do. But that's just not me anymore. I don't have the need for it right now. I want to be the one person who fills that void with God and not with some guy. I want to be the ONE PERSON at BCF who isn't looking to get a husband or a fiance. haha
well anyway.... Enough of that soap box.
Saw The Devils Rejects with my dad last night. And tonight saw Must Love Dogs with my mom.
Lets review them:
Must Love Dogs-- It was a typical romantic comedy. Girl is wounded, girl meets the perfect guy, perfect guy and girl have problems and stop speaking, but in the end, they end up together. Annoying happy endings. But, if you're in the mood, good chick flick.
The Devils Rejects-- First of all, Rob Zombie is INSANE. If you are a squeamish person, you will not want to see this movie. If you are a hardcore legalist, you will not want to see this movie. haha There's a lot of graphic killing, really bad language, naked people, and just plan weird stuff. Personally, I just thought it was bizarre. But at least it was different. However on a good note, my dad and I agree that the soundtrack is AMAZING. Buy it.
Anyways....
Tomorrow is my last day at Small Fry Choo Choo Train. So sad. But yet so happy. We're leaving Saturday for Ocala to load up and then we're spending the night in Lake City with some longtime family friends. I'm excited about the move. I can't believe it's less than a week away now.
Well I'm tired now. Goin to sleep.

Moving on...

2005-07-27T18:23:00.000-04:00

I'm moving to Graceville in like twelve days. I'm done with work in five. I'm very excited to start this next chapter of my life. I'm excited about my house. I'm excited about school.
I feel like I'm finally getting out of this rut I've been in for so long. I've been there since I dropped out of school in 'O3. I'll admit, I wish I didn't do that, but I've learned so much in this past couple years, so it wasn't all bad.
Anyway, I just finished reading The Chronicles of Narnia again. I know, it's like the second time in three months. But oh my gosh, I adore those books. There is so much good doctrine in them. They show you a lot about God I think. There's this one part that I like from chapter 2 in The Silver Chair that I will gladly share with you now:
The wood was so still that it was not difficult to decide where the sound was coming from. It grew clearer every moment and, sooner than she expected, she came to an open glade and saw the stream, bright as glass, running across the turf a stone's throw away from her. But although the sight of the water made her feel ten times thirstier than before, she didn't rush forward and drink. She stood as still as if she had been turned into stone, with her mouth wide open. And she had a very good reason; just on this side of the stream lay the lion.
It lay with its head raised and its two fore-paws out in front of it, like the lions in Trafalgar Square. She knew at once that it had seen her, for it's eyes looked straight into hers for a moment and then turned away-- as if it knew her quite well and didn't think much of her.
"If I run away, it'll be after me in a moment," thought Jill. "And if I go on, I shall run straight into its mouth." Anyway, she couldn't have moved if she had tried, and she couldn't take her eyes off it. How long this lasted, she could not be sure; it seemed like hours. And the thirst became so bad that she almost felt she would not mind being eaten by the lion if only she could be sure of getting a mouthful of water first.
"If you're thirsty, you may drink."
They were the first words she had heard since Scrubb had spoken to her on the edge of the cliff. For a second she stared her and there, wondering who had spoken. Then the voice said again, "If you are thirsty, come and drink," and of course she remembered what Scrubb had said about animals talking in that other world, and realized that it was the lion speaking. Anyway, she had seen its lips move this time, and the voice was not like a man's. It was deeper, wilder, and stronger; a sort of heavy, golden voice. It did not make her any less frightened than she had been before, but it made her frightened in a rather different way.
"Are you not thirsty?" said the lion.
"I'm dying of thirst," said Jill.
"Then drink," said the lion.
"May I-- could I--would you mind going away while I do?" said Jill.
The Lion answered this only by a look and a very low growl. And as Jill gazed at its motionless bulk, she realized that she might as well have asked the whole mountain to move aside for her convenience.
The delicious rippling noise of the stream was driving her nearly frantic.
"Will you promise not to--do anything to me, if I do come?" said Jill.
"I make no promise," said the Lion.
Jill was so thirsty now that, without noticing it, she had come a step nearer.
"Do you eat girls?" she said.
"I have swallowed up girls and boys, women and men, kings and emperors, cities and realms," said the Lion. It didn't say this as if it were boasting, nor as if it were sorry, nor as if it were angry. It just said it.
"I daren't come and drink," said Jill.
"Then you will die of thirst," said the Lion.
"Oh dear!" said Jill, coming another step nearer. "I suppose I must go and look for another stream then."
"There is no other stream," said the Lion.
It never occurred to Jill to disbelieve the Lion--no one who had seen his stern face could do that--and her mind suddenly made itself up. It was the worst thing she had ever had to do, but she went forward to the stream, knelt down, and began scooping up water in her hand. It was the coldest, most refreshing water she had ever tasted. You didn't need to drink much of it, for it quenched your thirst at once. Before she tasted it she had been intending to make a dash away from the Lion the moment she had finished. Now, she realized that this would be on the whole the most dangerous thing of all. She got up and stood there with her lips still wet from drinking.
"Come here," said the Lion. And she had to. She was almost between its front paws now, looking straight into its face. But she couldn't stand that for long; she dropped her eyes.

Isn't that incredible? I know these are just "children's stories" but oh my gosh. There's so much of stuff like that in those books. Just amazing.

"The friendship that can cease has never been real."

2005-07-21T23:02:00.000-04:00

The quote above is by Saint Jerome. I happened upon it during one of my many visits to The Quotations Page. Moving to Graceville is fastly approaching and I was doing a little thinking. I haven't really been around good friends in a long time. Nearly a year. After an incomprehensible end to a friendship that meant more to me than anything, I kind of closed myself up. I didn't want to open up to anyone anymore because there was a chance I could get hurt. Now that I'm returning to Graceville, I'm going to be suddenly surrounded by people. Old and new friends and I realized that this might be a difficult adjustment. I've gone so long without being around friends that I'm a little nervous. I used to think I knew all about friendships. I like to say that I "grew up" in Pensacola, Florida. Although we only lived there for three years (the majority of my high school career.) But that's where I grew into my own person the most, I think. I mean, that's where I went from being a child to being a "young adult" or whatever. Anyway, I made some amazing friendships there. I even still communicate with a lot of them. I never had problems with any of my friends from there. In Ocala, I made a couple of real, true lasting friends that I adore to this very day and that I am in frequent communication with (one of whom is my sister in law now.) Anyway, I'm babbling a lot now, but what I'm trying to get at is I've let one tragicly ended friendship ruin a lot in my life. Who knows what kind of friends I could've made if I had just let myself open up. But I'm starting to just remember all the good times in that friendship. Which helps a lot. Now I think I'm getting excited about moving back and being around friends again. I think I'm ready. A little nervous, but ready nonetheless.
I also have come to agreement with another theory. I heard it from someone at college and perhaps in a movie as well (maybe Harry Met Sally?) You cannot be friends with the opposite sex without someone developing feelings for the other at some point. It just can't happen. And if you are fortunate to salvage any kind of friendship after the fact, it's just not the same. It makes it easier to lose touch I think.
It makes me mad sometimes when I see friendships break up because one has feelings that the other doesn't have. And the one that has the feelings says that they can't be friends anymore for that reason. That's stupid, and if I may say, really selfish. First of all, nobody can help how they feel or don't feel. Secondly, if you're so quick to want out of the friendship because of that, then that brings into question your motives for being in the friendship from the beginning. That's just hurtful and mean. To tell a person that you're friends with that you don't want them in your life anymore because they don't feel how you want them to. HORRIBLE. haha -to quote Superstar. I would like to hear more opinions about this of course. Speak your mind people!
Anyway... I've rediscovered my love for the Holy God that I serve. Do you ever just sit there and try to wrap your mind around how incredibly AMAZING He is? He created water and trees and bugs and limes. One of my favorite shows is Joan of Arcadia (I'm so sad that it was cancelled!) I read this discription of the show somewhere online where she's having a conversation with Him. He's like, I'm God. And she's like, Well prove it, show me a miracle. And He says, Okay, look in front of you. She says, That's just a tree. And He says, Let's see you make one. I thought that was funny. The show itself kind of shows how incredibly stupid and self-centered we the human race are. We can't look past what's going on in our own lives at all. I know I'm like that. I look back sometimes at how concerned I used to be about doing things "right" and never doing anything "bad," and I realize that I was so caught up in worrying about that and judging people, that I missed out on being there for people that I loved around me who were hurting. Seriously, I used to be so straight laced. No cussing, no smoking, no drugs, no alcohol, no sex, no lust, no stealing, no this, no that, it just went on and on and on. Finally I realized how empty it was making me. I had turned into this judgemental person who drove away people who needed me. It makes me angry at myself to think about it now. But I've grown a lot. There's so much more to God and life than just keeping a list of rules.
Anyways... I'm sleepy. farewell.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

2005-07-16T22:57:00.000-04:00

Went to see the movie above tonight. My sis in law and my lil nephew are here for the weekend and me her and my ma went while pops babysat.. haha It was extremely weird. Which isn't surprising. I mean, i think the weirdness even surpassed the first one. But it was quite funny and Johnny Depp and Tim Burton are both extremely brilliant.
So I have a house!!! I finally talked to the landlord and he's calling me in a day or two to let me know what exactly needs to be done to the house before me and Linds move in. Then I'll know a time frame. My last day at work is the 31st so i'm sure it will be the first or second week of august that i move in. We'll see. I'm sending him a deposit next week, so it's pretty much set. It's a 3 BR/1BA place right across the street from the school. So I could walk to class. YAY. And the landlord, Tom, sounds SO nice. I'm just happy I wasn't forced back into the dorms. I was really worried about that. Cause I think I would rather postpone going back rather than live there. Ick.
Anyway, well I am EXTREMELY sleepy. So I think I'll be going to bed now.

"Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors."

2005-07-12T23:51:00.000-04:00

I'm quite ready to start school back. All I need is A PLACE TO LIVE. We're still waiting to hear back from that guy about the house. I'm really not as frustrated as I should be. I'm trying to remember that God will work everything out because He's the one that wants me there. It's just hard sometimes.
I've had some pretty bad headaches today. I hope I'm not becoming prone to migranes.
I had to work tonight. It was really slow. But the mall is remodeling, and they've started playing music again finally. So that helped a little.
Pray for my brother. He's supposed to be coming home in a month or two.
My parents are so great. It's gonna be weird without them.
It's freaking hot down here.
I hope everyone's okay after the hurricane.
I hear there's another one coming. arg.
Well enough.

Rejuvenated

2005-07-05T21:57:00.000-04:00

Okay, I'm feeling a little bit better. I may have found a house. I'm going to try and get up there next week to see it. We weren't able to go this week cause I couldnt afford it. haha Anyway, it sounds promising. It's right across the street from the school and it's three bedrooms. All I need now is a roommate. We'll see how it goes.
I'm trying to be calm and to not just throw my hands up and give up. That's hard for me I guess. But I'm really praying this new house works out. PLEASE PRAY THAT IT DOES!!
my sis in law and brother have a house now in Jacksonville, NC. She's moving in this month or next month. So that's good.
Anyway... well i'm sleepy... i guess i'll hit the sac now.