Overdue update...

I know it's been awhile since I updated! We've been busy busy busy around here! Keith is busy with his job and doing great! Ava is so grown up and talking so much it's crazy. I'm still trying to potty train her, and it's going very slowly.
Zoie is getting gigantic in my belly and is very active. We're meeting with the doctor on monday to decide and discuss if I'm going to go with a c-section this time around. They've offered me one since I had complications during Ava's delivery. But the pregnancy has been alright. Very different from Ava.
We are LOVING it up here in E-town PA. It's starting to get cold and it's so beautiful with the leaves changing and all. We love the church we're going to, LCBC. We're involved with a Lifegroup from there that we like a lot too. We're living in a big house with Mom and Dad right now and it's actually going really well. We'll probably stay here with them until next spring or summer and then find our own place somewhere a little closer to Keith's work. Right now it's about a 30 minute drive for him. But it'll be nice to stay here when Zoie comes so we'll have extra support during that beginning time.
That's about all that is going on with us...sorry I don't update more. I stick pretty much to facebook for pictures and updates...mostly because EVERYONE we know is on there! I'll try to do better on here though. :)

My Heart...

I've fallen in love with this song by Paramore and it completely represents the way I feel about God. Listen to it if you get a chance....

My Heart

Paramore

I am finding out that maybe I was wrong

That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone

Stay with me, this is what I need, please?

Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you

We could sing alone but what would it be without you?

I am nothing now and it's been so long

Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope

This time I will be listening.

Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you

We could sing alone but what would it be without you?

This heart, it beats, beats for only you

This heart, it beats, beats for only you

This heart, it beats, beats for only you

My heart is yours

This heart, it beats, beats for only you

My heart is yours(My heart, it beats for you)

This heart, it beats, beats for only you

(It beats, beats for only you)

My heart is yours (My heart is yours)

This heart, it beats, beats for only you

(Please don't go now, please don't fade away)

My heart, my heart is yours

(Please don't go now, please don't fade away)

(Please don't go now, please don't fade away)

My heart is yours (Please don't go now, please don't fade away)

My heart is yours(Please don't go, please don't fade away)

(Please don't go now, please don't fade away) My heart is...

A New Chapter...

I'm super excited about the next chapter in our lives. Keith and I have decided to move up to Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania at the end of June! My parents are up there, which will be wonderful to have them be so close, and it's in the north so we'll get the hell away from this awful Florida heat. Ava is going to love playing in the snow in the winter. And I'm due to have this next little baby in January. It's so exciting! Keith has applied for a job with Apple up there and they're checking his references, so we're hoping that it works out. He'd be really happy with that.

So that's all! Just excited about the road ahead!

Through the darkness....He's there.

I've been through a lot the last few months. My family has been through a lot.

I miscarried on January 4. Something that I never thought I would have to go through. It has been the hardest thing I have ever experienced.

I feel like I've come out of the darkness finally. I still get sad when I think about it, of course, but I am completely thankful beyond words for my Ava. She is so wonderful and I am so blessed to have her.

Now, we've found out I'm pregnant again! As excited as I am, I am also terrified of losing another baby. I'm praying every night for a healthy pregnancy...but I am also praying that God gives me strength to endure if it does happen again. I know that God gives and He takes away. Don't know the reasons, but He has a perfect plan and He knows things I do not. So, I submit myself everyday to His perfect will.

I've also learned a lot reading A Godward Life by John Piper. I read a chapter about marriage and it totally changed my perspective. I have never seen myself ever getting a divorce...but in the back of my mind I've always thought, well if I get cheated on, or something like that, I would leave in a heartbeat. Well this chapter was talking about how marriage should not be based on emotional tranquility. Now I'm not saying that I'm perfect now or anything, but I've decided that no matter what, I'm going to work 100% to keep my marriage intact. Even if my husband were to make a mistake like that. We're all sinners. We all make mistakes. But, there shouldn't be an escape plan in a marriage. So I decided that no matter what, I'm going to work hard to keep my marriage.

Anyway...that's all..just wanted to say those things.

25 years...

I'll be 25 on Friday! How strange. I'm halfway to 50. Well I have more than I ever thought I would by this age! I have an amazing husband, who I love deeply; a gorgeous daughter, who is the apple of my eye; and a college degree! I'm a very lucky girl.
Keith and I will have been married 3 years in August. I love him so much. He is truly ten times better than any expectations I ever had.
Ava is turning 2 next month! It has been so incredible to watch her grow and learn. She's a smart girl. I am so blessed to have her. I realized that more completely than I ever thought possible in January. I miscarried. That was pretty much the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I'm not sure I will ever be completely over it. But it's showed me how completely grateful I am to have my Ava. She is so precious to me. It also showed me how much I must depend on God in ever aspect of my life. Without Him, I would have slipped away into some depression that would have drowned me. But I clung to Him in that darkness and He kept me above the water. He showed me how I had to get through it for Ava and Keith. They need me.

I'm doing a lot better now. Ava and I play a lot and we have so much fun. I'm really grateful to be able to stay at home with her. It's very important to me.
I've rediscovered my love for reading. I read all the time now. Even if it's re-reading books I've read already. But I like using my imagination and getting lost in a beautiful story.
Ava loves to read too. We read together a lot. I've bought a lot of my favorite books for her to read when she gets older.

Anyhow....
Nothing much else going on here! Keith is taking me out on Friday. Ava is going to spend the night with "Aunt" Deb and "Uncle" Brent and the girls. She loves those girls! So we'll get to have a night out with no worries! I'm excited. OUTBACK!!!
So that's all for now.

Au Revoir

Blurbs...

I feel the need to vent about friendships tonight. I don't know why...this has been stewing inside me for awhile now. We live in this teensy little town. A college town. So people come and go pretty often. It's difficult to make friends here. My friends that I hold dear to me have been gone for some time now. It's easy to keep in touch through facebook, myspace, etc. But it's just not the same as having them near me. To have them close enough to meet for lunch or something. To know what's going on in their lives and to be able to be there for them when something is hurting them or just when they need a friend. My friendships mean so much to me and I somehow feel that they are slipping away from me because of distance. This hurts me. I literally ache because I want to be near my friends. I never realized before, but I feel like I literally give away a small piece of my heart when I make a very good friend. I know that I need to put forth a greater effort here to make new friends. It's just so hard. Opening yourself up to someone new when it's possible they could move away at any time soon, or they could hurt you. Yes, I've experienced that awful pain too. The pain of losing a friend. I experienced that several years ago in fact. I moved past it and all, but I closed myself up a lot since then. I don't know if it is the same for everyone. But for me, losing this friend, was excruciating. I don't think I've ever been that close to someone, other than my husband.
It's interesting, because I was just thinking the other night, that something about me has changed over the last several years. I was thinking, I am different, and I couldn't put my finger on why or how. Perhaps that was it. Perhaps that pain changed me. Turned me into a different person. I used to be very outgoing, very chatty and cheerful all the time. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy now. I love my life and my family. But I'm a lot more introverted now. And I'm wondering if that isn't the reason I'm like this now. Interesting theory I suppose.
I think I'd like to say a few things to those friends who I consider dear to me. I don't know why...I just feel inspired to do so.
Keith-My husband, my love, my BEST friend! I love you so much. I love that we are best friends. I love that all I have to do is say your name and you are at my side in no time ready to be there for me for anything that I need. You are what keeps my heart beating.
Mom-I'm so thrilled that our friendship has blossomed so much. I love that I can call you for anything. I love you!
Stephanie-I miss you so terribly. You are so dear to me and I wish so much that I could see you more often! I treasure all of our memories! "I love you like a fat kid loves cake." :)
Heidi-Oh how much we've been through together! I think of you so much and I wish I could be there to help you through everything. I hope you know how precious our friendship is to me.
Amy-Dearest friend. I have known you since we were silly girls in middle school! I am so happy to have retained such a tender friendship with you for so long. I adore you, your mind, and most of all, your happiness!
Kelly-I miss you a lot, my devoted friend. I've always loved how natural our friendship came. I never have to pretend with you, and I love that. Thank you.
Kelli-My bosom friend. I can't say much except that I love you and miss you!
Cassie-Seeing you the other night, it was like nothing had changed! I love you so dearly and smile when I think about all the great times we've had! I love that we both married video-game husbands! :)

Here's to my friends. I love you all. I miss you all. I hope you know I think of you often.

Twilight Madness...

So I finally gave in and read the twilight saga that everyone has been going so crazy over! Of course, I became obssessed. Now I'm meticulously planning to see the movie, watching every trailor, clip and looking at every possible photo online. They are such wonderful books and I'm excited to see the movie to see the first one in all of its cinematic glory.
I've rediscovered my love for reading and I desperately want to go buy a bunch of new books online to read... It sucks not having money! :)
Anyway, my darling little Ava keeps me occupied enough. She's so big now. I can't believe just how smart she is and how incredibly amazing she is. She's so beautiful. And such a big girl. I'm proud to announce that she is no longer in need of bottles! YAY!
Keith is just as wonderful as ever... I like to look at him sometimes and just tell him, "you're mine." It's a wonderful thing to know.
I'm so happy with my family.
I am so ready to move though. I love our life, but every couple of years I always get the urge to move. I'm sure that comes from years of practice, moving all the time :). And anyway we're ready to be done with school and move on. Next year! It seems far away.. but only a year.
I suppose that's all for right now. I didn't have much to say, just wanted to update.
Oh, I am very happy the election is over too! And pleased with the results as well.
We're flying out to Pennsylvania on Friday to spend a week with my parents! YAY.